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Should i leave?

Posted by
CLAIRDELUNE
on Dec 2 2016 at 16:20
Member since: 02 December 2016
Gender: Female
Country: United States
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category I have been dating a man for the past year and four months. We actually dated before that, but it ended because I found out he was talking to another woman - flirting, calling her beautiful, talking to her on the phone for hours. Basically, he was acting single. Anyhway, months passed and we reunited after seeing each other while shopping. Things were okay at first. I asked him if he had slept with anyone while we were apart, but he denied it. Though we were having protected sex, I somehow contracted an STI from him. He finally admitted to sleeping around while we were broken up. I told him that this was fine, but he was putting my health at risk by not being truthful about it in the first place.

He was laid off from his job and began working at a restaurant that he had worked at for several years before. Out of curiousity, I asked if he had ever slept with a waitress. He said no, and that I had nothing to worry about. A waitress messaged me on Facebook and told me that she had slept with my boyfriend for several months. This was before we dated, so I let it slide. My boyfriend got another job, but yet ANOTHER waitress sent me text messages between her and my boyfriend where he was calling her sexy and saying he wanted to "hang out" with her that weekend. He lied about it to my face, even though I saw the text messages on his phone.

Later, I found out that he was taking screenshots of his ex-girlfriends from Instagram. He lied to my face and said that he did not screeshot the images, but there there were in his phone's gallery. He eventually confessed to masterbating to these images. We addressed this and solved the problem. To add to this, I found out he was searching Craigslist personals at least 4-5 times a week. He had an email account that I never knew about, and had signed up for Kik with this account to talk to women from Craigslist personals.

And now, he downloads private browsing apps to look at porn and the personal ads. He has made actual contact with THREE women from Craigslist. I don't know if he has actually met up with any of this women, but he is a habitual liar and probably wouldn't tell me the truth anyway.

If I should leave, I don't know how to leave. He says that he will stop and that he loves me.

He just believes he has a problem, or sex addiction. But, I can't even find it in myself to be intimate with him. The idea of sex and kissing him makes me feel physically ill, knowing all of the things he does behind my back.

He and I were a great couple at one time, always laughing together and having a great time together. I'm so close to his family and he is so close to mine. I love him, but he has done so much to hurt me... Is it worth trying to save it? Or will he never change?

Reply from
MANALONE
on Dec 3 2016 at 02:21
Member since: 29 December 2013
Gender: Male
Your BF's actions, now, tell you that he's no good for any relationship with anyone. If he's an addict, then it's his issue to sort and if you can't be intimate with him and maintain a relationship with him, because of who and what he is, then you need to move on from him. If you can't trust him, then basically your relationship doesn't exist, regardless of how close you are to each others respective families.

Sure, he might change, but the effort has the come from him, for him to address his issues to enable him to change. You, on the other hand, can either hang around and watch and you can move on to someone else who shares your values and treats you with respect.

Reply from
HARRY888
on Dec 3 2016 at 12:24
Member since: 08 October 2016
Gender: Male
A reality of life, never ever let any emotion or a person make you so weak that it pushes you to loose your self confidence. Love, sex, lust all play a small part in our lives. They make us happy. But this does not give it permission to make us so weak. So firstly stop allowing it to make you so weak where you can't even do the right thing, despite knowing the facts of it. There is nothing so important in him that you are allowing to hurt your self so much.

There is nothing as "sex addiction". It is just another way of saying that he likes to wank it off. So don't believe any word of it. He has clearly taken undue advantage of you. He knows that you are gullible and he is totally enjoying this show. So slap your self out of this my dear. You can not allow any one in your life to dominate you or make you their slaves.

You have answered your own question. The continuous lying, the hiding, the excuses and to top it all of he contracted you STI ? Girl what are you upto ? I mean is he GOD for you ? You honestly, and excuse my language, are being really dumb to actually allow this to happen to yourself. (Kindly excuse my profound language, i don't mean to insult you but am just making a point).

What is a relationship ? It is firstly built on trust. It is place where you enjoy each others company. You share and pursue each others dreams together. It is as simple as that.

A mistake happens once. But the second and the third time are clearly intentional. If i were you, i would immediately pack my bags and move out of his life completely. There is not even an ounce of truth in what this guy is telling you. He has his own set of devil intentions to be with you. And you are not bounded to play along this fools game. I again repeat it to you my dear, dont allow any person in your life to fool you in such a away. Am sure you both may have spent some good moments in the past. But that does not guarantee anything for the future to be the same. When you can easily see that other girls are messaging you to tell you about his "Sexcapades" how can u stand loving such a person ?

Love is not the only thing in life my dear. There are bigger goals and achievements that you should be focusing on. People will come and go. But your weakness might just cost you your life. I am not trying to instigate you or make you feel bad about what you are doing. But you need to realize that you are far more precious than all of this ill treatment that he is giving you.

I do hope that you make the right choices in life. Do excuse me incase i have said something that might have hurt you unintentionally. Take care.

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?