A year ago i met a guy, we were classmates. he used to call me everyday to know about assignments and then sometimes just casually. tickling, holding hands walking together became very common with time. after three and a half months of knowing eachother, i told him that i love him, he said no it may be infatuation. i thought he is shy or not ready to accept relationships (since he was a bit orthodox). but we related to eachother more deeply, intimately. for me he was everything. he used to work full time and managing both work and studies was hard for him, so i did his assignments many a times. we used to talk on phone for like hours and love was on fire.. once he did said that we will think about us after completion of studies and repayment of loans. i surrendered and trusted him even more.
five months later it was his birthday, we planned to go clubbing with friends in the evening, but suddenly on time he turned up saying other guys arent comfortable so we will go some other time. next day i found out that he had gone to a strip club, hiding this fact made me upset.
10 days no normal talk since he was busy with his roommate who was visiting india. a day after his friend left, he called me being so normal. when i asked him about the strip club and he calling me after so long, we had a heated argument and we almost broke up. with time things fixed up i thought to let go and make a fresh start. he needed my help to make a resume, and while working on his laptop i found out that he was intending to casual date (one night stand). later i found out that he has been into such things even before we started. that shattered me. when i confronted him about these things, he said i have no right to ask him anything! its none of my business and all! i still gave him a chance this went for another three months, me trying to keep things as normal as possible just because of the fact that he did not cheat on me when i was in his life.. and then suddenly everything shattered when one day i found out that he is seeing girls to get married through his friends matrimonial website and on the other hand he again intended to have one night stands, this time downloading the website app! i confronted him and that day i was broken into pieces. throughout the entire scenario i was tired asking what is/ was going on between us..? just tell me once. his answer always fumbled from 'nothing' to 'i dont know'! i left the country the very next day and returned back a month later. everything was over, but i did not get any answers to my questions. one day, i couldnt resist calling him and he again wanted me to be intimate but did not want to name the relationship. by that time someone called him and he sopke to her the way he used to talk with me (i could overhear it was a female voice). i didnt ask him anything just said that women tend to be suspicious a lot. he said its none of your business and got angry on me. things worsen and i spoke all the stuff i had in my heart asking about the girl he wants to marry to the casual sex affairs he made. he blackmailed he will inform my friends about this and in agony, i slapped him and he punched me back.
i know i was wrong at the end but now i dont know how to get out of all this. i cant forget him. even after all this i love him. i have no clue what to do and how?
Don't love someone who doesn't or is afraid to commit. It is more painful to try when in the end the ball is in their court all along. He is grown and knows what he is doing. You simply deserve something stable. This is emotional torture.