I'm being stalked
Six months ago while working late one night I overheard a telephone argument between my boss and his wife where my name was mentioned twice before he screamed, "I'm WORKING!" Since then, the wife (who also works with us) won't talk to me or acknowledge me in any way. Additionally, they began having fights in the office and are obviously going through something personally. They are both going to individual therapy sessions and they are seeing a marriage counselor.
Needless to say, this has put a strain on both my job and my relationship with my boss. I've tried to carefully address her behavior with my boss, but he shuts me down. I've spent the past 6 months trying to figure out what I may have done to deserve this treatment, but I've been unsuccessful.
It would take me too long to explain why I began to suspect that she was stalking me, but I was right - she WAS stalking me. She even went as far as to perform an online background check on me to obtain my home address, and then resorted to driving by my house.
A crafty IT friend, with the help of IP addresses tracking, determined that she was stalking me all over social media. Not just looking at my social media accounts a few times: it was many times a day - every day. Three weeks ago, I caught her logged into my personal Facebook and she had apparently been logged into my account for 6 days. This totally crossed the line for me. My Facebook is like a diary of my life for the past 9 years. I feel invaded. My big question was: how did she get my password to my Facebook account?
My crafty IT friend began helping me again. Ultimately we determined that a keylogger and monitoring software were installed on my work computer on October 22. A review of the security cameras showed that my boss is the only person who entered our office that weekend. While it's not typical for me to do anything personal at work, I have logged into Facebook. That's how my password to Facebook was obtained.
So is he helping her stalk me? That's what I thought at first. Until last week when my crafty IT friend helped again. We were able to determine that my boss is the one that has been stalking me - not his wife - and he is the one who had been logging into my Facebook.
Apparently she was stalking me through most of the summer, and then he started stalking me.
I am beyond weirded out.
As I was reading, at first I was thinking that perhaps your bosses' wife was assuming that you and he were having an affair. ( I overheard a telephone argument between my boss and his wife where my name was mentioned twice before he screamed, "I'm WORKING!" ) Why else would she be mentioning you and why would he yell that he was working?
Then when you said that it was your boss who was stalking you, I'm thinking that maybe he talks about you incessantly, enough to make his wife suspect that there is something going on between you both. And if he is stalking you, can't you go higher than him, to his boss? and tell him what is happening.
according to - Wikipedia
<Stalking behaviours are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them. The term stalking is used, with some differing definitions, in psychiatry and psychology and also in some legal jurisdictions as a term for a criminal offence.>
Sorry my message went before I had finished.
According to Wikipedia
Stalking behaviours are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them. The term stalking is used, with some differing definitions, in psychiatry and psychology and also in some legal jurisdictions as a term for a criminal offence.
Stalking - Wikipedia
Thank you for responding. I don't believe he is talking about me too much. I suspect it isn't that simple. They are new empty nesters. She began working in our office for something to do. I believe that after 20 years of raising her children, she realized that she didn't know anything about her husband's life outside of the home and it bothered her. She found that he has full and busy days, with comraderie in the office. I have heard rumors of his cheating, so maybe he has given her reason to behave such a way. I also know that they have had periods of separation the past few years, so I think their marriage hasn't been great for a long time and this has compounded their problems. Once I became her focus, I also became his and he took it too far. He is controlling and has been stalking his children for years via social media and gps units in their vehicles. This must be his thing. I am leery of both of them now and feel vulnerable.
PS He owns the company so there isn't anyone I can go to about this. Also, I am the HR Manager...
Just wondered are you happy working there? Have you ever considered working elsewhere. As he is the owner and you can't go to anyone else, can you confront him? You are the HR manager after all and you must be good at your job or you wouldn't still be there. So if you raise all the issues with him and tell him how its affecting you, maybe he will change his ways. Is it a big company, perhaps he is cheating and maybe mentioning your name to distract his wife from the woman he really is having an affair with.