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I moved and I'm constantly upset

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Hi, I'm in 10th grade and I've moved from New York to Florida. I'm upset all the time. I've been going to my new school for about 3 weeks and I've made no friends. I'm really shy and I've even talked to people, but none of them were the kind of people that I could end up sustaining a friendship with. I sit alone at lunch, I go home and go to sleep, I never want to go to school anymore. I used to love school and I had a bunch of friends, but I'm starting to feel worse and worse about it now.

I moved and I'm constantly upset

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Sounds like you're having a tough time. It definitely must be hard relocating and leaving your old life behind and having to start fresh in a whole new place. But you have to give it a little time, it's an adjustment but soon all these new and foreign things will just seem normal to you. I'd suggest stepping back and trying to look at your feelings and attitudes about it all with a little more objectivity. You say you couldn't see yourself sustaining a friendship with any of your new schoolmates but it doesn't sound like you're giving them much of a chance. You probably need to give them some more time so you can get to know them better and find the things about them that you like and that resonate with you. Maybe you are comparing them to you're friends back in NY, friends you've known for ages and with whom you already have a natural rapport. And that's pretty natural and making new friends suddenly seems like a huge effort, but if you keep making that kind of comparison then no new person really stands a chance and you really close yourself off to the potential of making friends. Like any relationship, making and making friendships takes two people and it requires a bit of work and effort. You have to be willing to put of effort into making friends, so open yourself up to really getting to know some of your classmates and don't be so quick to dismiss them because they aren't like you're old friends. Ultimately your ability to make friends comes down to you and what you're willing to put into it. There isn't anything wrong with you taking initiative and trying hard even if you feel like they are ignoring you. When I was younger I went through a really bad time with depression and I began to feel like my friends were ignoring me and neglecting and not inviting me to stuff or wanting me around. It was suggested to me that perhaps it was because I was waiting around for them to contact me instead of taking the initiative myself to contact them and make myself more available. As soon as I did put more effort into being in touch with my mates I found out they weren't ignoring me or not wanting me around it was just that I'd closed myself up a but and things got so much better and I realised what great friends I really had. All it took was me taking some initiative and putting some effort into my friendships. Another little story, when I first started high school there was this kid calked pat. I hated pat. I didn't really know why, maybe cos we competed against each other pretty heavily in the athletic arena. We were pretty mean to each other and he wasn't someone I saw as a guy I could be friends with. But as the years went by, through my other friends I got to know pat a bit better and by the time we finished school he was my best mate. He's my best friend to this day and now he's even dating my sister and I couldn't imagine my life without him. So don't be so quick to dismiss your new schoolmates, one of them may be potentially the best friend you've ever had waiting for you to discover it. Besides, I doubt the kids in Florida are that different from kids in NY so Im sure your new classmates will also be able to see all the great things about you that made your NY friends love you. You just have to make sure you put those qualities on display. And remember, your friends from NY are still your friends so turn to them, they'll support you. One day you'll see having good friends in different cities is a really awesome and useful thing. I really hope things start getting a little easier for you soon, but I'm sure you'll be ok and you'll have plenty of great friends in no time.

I moved and I'm constantly upset

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What Tek said! but I would also add that you say you had a bunch of friends, don't you still have those? Just because you move doesn't mean the friendship ends. Right now you need a friend, someone to talk to, just while you are finding your feet, so to speak, in making new friends. Are your friends from back home on facebook? twitter? can't you email, text or phone any of them? Just chatting to a familiar face just might help you and boost your morale. Hope things improve for you really soon

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