Relationship help - currently living mind is its own place, and in it
I apologise if my query contains too much waffle; I will try to be succinct as possible.
9 weeks ago I met a guy on my masters course. We went out on dates; it was fun. He made it clear he wanted to be in a relationship with me very early on, 2 dates in in fact. He introduced me to his parents 3 weeks in. He has said to me sexually I am not his type but likes me for me.
However I was hesitant to get into a relationship with him, based on what he has said in his past relationships. He would be in a relationship for 5 years, 2 weeks later within breaking up will have another girlfriend. Repeat. Essentially he has not been single for more than a few weeks between girlfriends in the last 10 years. Therefore I have said to hold things off between us so continue on our dates , but no strings attached.
However I am now interested in him. I mentioned this to him and he said these following points:
1) He is not sexually attracted to me. But loves me; sees a future with me.
2) But does not want to have a relationship with me now.
3) wants to be friends with benefits (which i stupidly agreed to in the moment)
I replied saying the comments about not being sexually attractive is hurtful. and that he should not have pursued me. However I am still very much interested in him, and I am not sure what the next step should be in voicing my concern.
It has been 1 week since the discussion.
He has contacted me on phone/email but I have ignored him, but i do want to address this issue.
Your help/suggestions would lift a weight of my shoulders.
You may be interested in him but he's not the sort of guy that you need if you are looking for a relationship. Your hesitancy is your instinct talking to you and it's trying to protect you. It's extremely disrespectful for this guy to say to you that he can see a future with you "but not just yet thank you" as is the fact that he can state you are not sexually attractive to him but it's all OK just to be FWB.
You can easily address the issue by continuing to ignore him and his conditions for his 'arranged' relationship with you.
Steer clear of this guy. Protect yourself, you are worth more than this. Know that about yourself and put the FWB relationship behind you. It will only undermine your self-worth even if it gives you transient satisfaction. There is a guy out there who does consider you attractive and wants to be with you now, just for you. keep interviewing potential candidates by dating. but each date you go on protect your heart by remembering that the first 6-10 weeks of getting to know somebody are not a time to let your feelings get in the way of testing them out and working out if they are actually a good guy, and compatible with you
RE-read his "points."
Clearly, he is high risk and will drop you like a hot rock when he finds someone who turns him on and he wants to have a relationship with. That's been his pattern.
He's using you right now as a "filler."
Why accept these very UNFAIR terms? You deserve better.