I've got to say, the beginning was so much easier. There was SO much love, and happiness. But now, things are different. I, sadly, need lots of attention. Not like the obsessive kind, but the kind that matches what I give out. To him, he is the first, last, and only person i ever care to talk to. Throughout the day I'll randomly tell him I love him so much, or say things like, " Dangggg who is this cutie?' and SPOIL him with love and attention. And I know he likes it.
And in the beginning he did that to me too. Gosh, he sang a love song on the bus to me before we started dating because he liked me so much. And he'd surprise me by showing up to my place, ready to go out on a date. And now, I constantly have to beg for his attention. He takes 10 minutes or longer to reply to my texts, and when he does reply, it's always the same robotic conversations.
"So wyd?" "hahah really?" "Sureeeeee" "Whatever so wyd?" and on and on and on again
And then now he's obsessed with his phone, immediately answering other people when they text or snapchat him, and yet i have to wait longer. He's MY first priority, but I'm obviously not his. And it kills me.
So today I made sure to take 10 minutes to answer all of his texts, or even longer. Once I waited a whole hour just to see if he'd try texting me again to see what was up. But he didn't. So I gave in, and turns out he really didn't even care.
And now I'm not sure if we should really break up? We aren't the same, but maybe is that just because I keep telling myself that, and so I change the perspective away from what it actually is?
I really am IN LOVE with him. IN LOVE I KNOW. Not infatuation, i've gone through that before. But is it better to break up and go through the PAIN for maybe a better ending? And when I think about us in the future, I know it would be great. Because of how our family values and outlooks on life are the same. But the now is just not good. Should I stay with him in hope for the future?
Or should we break up?
Gosh, I'm sorry this is so long
What is it with TEXTS being the BASIS of your relationship?? W_A_A_Y too much power being given to a TEXT!!
Don't be concerned about what he TEXTS (or doesn't) - be concerned about what he DOES.
Now - what are your hobbies or projects you have besides him and your school?
A project will divert a lot of anxious energy you have focused on this one issue.
My recommendation here is.. if anything is too available, and too eagerly available - it has the opposite effect on people. think of if you have unlimited chocolate at your disposable and there are just pounds of chocolate all around you every day. And let's pretend chocolate is healthy for you and you don't gain weight. At some point.. friends dropping by bring you a pound of chocolate isn't going to make you twinkle.. it'll be more like, "oh gawd.. MORE chocolate??? ugh!"
You've become the "way too much chocolate" in this relationship. dial it back. Enjoy YOUR life and start doing fun things on your own. Don't be constantly on the text thing and hanging on every text and whe nit happens with him. Give him a reminder now and then you are thinking of him.. maybe what you are thinking (teasing NEVER fails!) and then let it stew in his brain for a while and imagination.
The reason most people LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE chocolate and its so heavenly whenever we have it is..... right.. BECAUSE IT'S A TREAT! We don't have it ALL the time. But anytime we have it.. IT'S SUPER HEAVENLY! So be like heavenly chocolate. Be heavenly whenever you're together. But allow some time between to let him "miss you" and start to crave you again.
No the ultimate question you may be asking - "when is it me dialing back so he craves me again.. vs he's unintersted and just uses me whenever he wants?" Good question. We'll worry about that later when you get him craving you again. The ultimate answer lies in "be heavenly whenver you are together" to make him keep craving you (which you can't crave something you have every day all the time in your face!), and the rest will take care of itself. That's also where the now and again (once a day.. once every 2-3 days) "reminder" to him about you with a texted "hi there hotstuff.. how is your day?" and then letting it go until he responds.. and continuing that every few days, comes in.
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