I am a failure
I feel like I can't speak up. I have anxiety(not like panic attacks) like anxiety whenever I do anything. I recently started jamming with this drummer, I'm 17 he is 39. I know that age difference is kinda big but I have had problems finding other musicians who like the same music that are my age. I have been playing guitar in this band. I also wanna sing in this band too, but it's like something (mentally) is blocking me. Tonight(5th practice the drummer and me had together) I said "Hey I'll try singing this time." Deep down, I'm so afraid of not being good enough, sounding horrible, making a mistake, not singing in the right key.
I was so afraid of him not wanting to be the drummer anymore, he said he likes how I play guitar but he's never heard me sing before. So, I sang. But I sing really low(very quiet). When we got done practicing the drummer told me, "Our next step is to find a bass player and a singer. Someone who will be heard over the band or you can do it."
I just said "Right yeah." See what I mean? I can never speak my mind, I want to sing the songs I wrote. I want to be the singer. I don't want someone else to. I want to be able to speak up. But something is mentally blocking me, what do I do? What would you say if you were me? How do I know if I'm actually good at singing, or if I'm right and I suck(like I said, deep down I feel like I'm horrible at alot of things).
By giving it a try.
Sorry if that sounds flippant but I can't think of any other way - can you?
Anyway, you need to take the focus off yourself (which is where your problem stems from) and really think about the exact meaning and reach of his comment. He referred only to LACK OF VOLUME. And then added - failing that, you could do it (and the band quieten down, possibly?). He wouldn't say that if he had a problem with HOW you sounded, would he; he'd have left it at 'and a singer'. Ergo, logically, he had zero issue with the quality of your voice per se, and obviously did like it. Only the quietness aspect concerned him.
I'm no techie-brain, but I'd have though that's where amp settings came in?
PS: Soft vocals are about to come back in. Did you not see how excited ol' Cowell was, over whats-her-face, the young Scots gal, and how he deliberately steered her towards songs that allowed her quietness of voice to shine out? Take the hint and turn the guitar and drum amps *down* to-suit.
PS: 'Failure' my a*se! You can sing in-tune, you can ALSO play the guitar well enough to be in a band. You can ALSO play guitar WHILST SINGING (do you have no idea how hard that is?!) (...no, course you don't - because you don't know what it is to be talentless or have only the one skill). You're also patently obviously very organised. Additionally, not fazed a bit by being in the company - *on* the same level - of someone so much older and experienced than you, musically included. *And* you had the nerve to give the singing a go, where too many people would have kept quiet and stayed put. *And* (and-and) you came onto a forum full of strangers and began a thread.
Crikey, if that's anxiety and timidity then I'd hate to see what you're like when you're feeling confident?!
Nah. You don't fit the word failure one iota. What you *do* fit is....PERFECTIONIST. *Far* too hard on yourself and thereby setting yourself up to believe you're failing when in reality you're managing to exceed most of the population's personal limitations.
If I were you, I'd think about going acoustic solo *or* just altering the backing arrangement.
You ever heard The Cocteau Twins, aka Elizabeth Frazer and what's-his-face, her backing guitarist and synth guy? What about The Sundays? Dido? Can't get much softer than Dido, eh, bearing in mind the studio sound mixing and engineering. Also - Judy Tzuke(sp?): on a lot of her album tracks she sings almost a capella (e.g. Stay With Me Til Dawn).
Like I said, we've DONE the 'belt it out' merchants and Whitney wannabes (again). So it's time for a change (again), meaning, you'd do well as a band to take the cue of Monsieur Cowell & co.