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Posted by MOST ROYALBLOOD on Dec 29 2016 at 05:42
Member since: 29 December 2016
Gender: Male
Emotional advice forum category advice forum category

Next year 2017 makes it exactly 10years I left secondary school. Looking back on the years, can't really say I have achieved much. Currently in the university studying medicine. Just had my 2nd MBBS exam and I didn't pass, have to repeat the class.

I must say, at 25yrs of age, still depending on family for tuition and allowances, its emotionally depressing. Don't just know how to cope with it all.

The shame of repeating the class or the shame of disappointment on the faces of family and friends.

I just need someone to talk true to me.

Had people come around saying its well, it would get better, but am I really convinced??

Please someone should help.

Reply from HOPEFULDOCTOR on Dec 30 2016 at 11:57
- unregistered user

I think with life, it seems like we expect to achieve something really great. There's always people telling us to not waste time. The question is what have you learned in those 10 years? Medicine is great achievement. I would love to be in medicine, I really would but I think my application would be denied because it doesn't look good enough to be accepted. You seem like a good person, you feel guilty for relying on family for tuition and allowances. I would work on expressing your emotions. When you're in medical school, you can't work because you have to focus on the work. And medical school is hard. Really hard. Don't think that you're the only one failing a year. Others have failed a year too. What matters is what you do from now on. People have deferred a year or failed a year to go on vacation and it's okay, because the pressure of medical school can lead to burnout. I've given you my advice with good interests.

Well let's say you finish med school, will you pay back your parents? If yes, you have nothing to worry about. If things spiral out of your control, maybe you should consider another career pathway? Sorry, I know it's hard to switch. Just believe in yourself and trust that you can pass a year of medical school.

Reply from SOULMATE (moderator) on Dec 30 2016 at 16:09
Member since: 19 August 2014
Country: United Kingdom

Well, of course you haven't achieved much - you're still IN THE PROCESS OF GEARING UP to achieve much, ya daft banana. And you're ONLY 25 (- someone cancel the free bus-pass application!). And you're obviously the tortoise, not the hare. GOOD! Do you KNOW the fable and what it meant to teach you? In application from your personal point of view, it means that by the time you do qualify, you'll know everything TWICE as by-heart as those that passed first-time and will be able to recall any information far faster and - more the point - for far longer. It'll have done DEEPER. Think about it: your first name is these days unforgettable to you because of WHAT NOW?

Repetition.

"I'm slow but that's because I'm bloody thorough, not a rush-job surface-skimmer". That's all you need to say to yourself and others. If they're 'sowing' double then so too will what they one day reap be double... that's how sowing works. That's what you CALL value for money when remembering they're one day going to need someone THEMSELVES to lean on and help out. Who better or more likely by then than grateful and appreciative you? So as I'm sure you can now see, there is no such thing as waste and no need for any disappointment on anyone's part (not that anyone else is complaining or I'm sure you'd have mentioned it).

It's all good, you don't have a problem, you have an advantage-in-motion which just feels crappy and LIKE a problem whilst you're still in the thick of it.

Put it another way: When doing a long-distance run like the 800m (on a 4 x 200m track), which of these two runner types tends to win?

1. S/he who nigh-on or actually sprints around the first three laps?

2. S/he who takes it slower and steadier in order to reserve enough energy for that all-vital, final 100m push?

Or this way: Which drivers are the most skilled?

1. The first-time test-passer?

2. The one who re-took the course and test once or twice or more?

Just answered the question for you. You're worrying when you should be seeing farther into the looming distance and seeing the hidden benefits of being a tortoise. But certainly, pressuring yourself, this case unnecessarily, takes up vital mental processing that could instead be left available for studying, retaining and recalling. Worrying, feeling guilty and feeling like a loser despite you're still only at the- sorry, YOUR halfway-round-the-track point, is therefore futile, unproductive, and just plain nonsense/meaningless. Maybe those that are set to pass first time also went from crawling to walking faster than you as well. Who cares? You still learnt to walk in the end, didn't you? Probably talked long before they did...that's usually how it works if someone's 'slow' in one area. Your own, natural, personal schedule is what it is. Stop fighting it and wasting precious energy and enthusiasm.

Lastly but not leastly, nowadays there are THIRTY-somethings out there, whether gearing-up, still, or not, that are still living with and off the parents. So I think if you're brutally honest, either you're just being impatient *or* your worry stems from somewhere else entirely with you just blaming this course progress because it's the only 'visible' thing TO pin your disquiet onto.

(5p, please. )

Reply from ROYALBLOOD on Jan 7 2017 at 07:58
Member since: 29 December 2016
Gender: Male

Thanks soulmate and hopefuldoctor.

Really appreciate your advice and admonition.

Really have to brace up and gear up to be much more better daily.

Thanks once more.

Happy new year!!

Reply from SOULMATE (moderator) on Jan 9 2017 at 20:46
Member since: 19 August 2014
Country: United Kingdom

You're very welcome and - backatcha!

Anyway - look at those lovely manners and that impressive integrity! Do you realise how many people *don't* finish/cap the conversation, let alone say thanks? You're obviously a sweetie so, trust me, and never mind that you can't see round this boggy corner of your path to the wild flower field - Fate has your back. The bog is probably what *feeds and waters* the field.

Do everyone a favour and come back to say so the minute you can feel you've turned that corner, if you please?

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