Starting over at 45

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Posted by SELF on Dec 30 2016 at 04:58
Member since: 30 December 2016
Gender: Female
Other advice forum category advice forum category

I am sure there are millions of people who restart life at 45,And i am one of them!! at 45 i want to change my job,city and hopefully find love too. Way too much change i think that too all at one go !!!

But this is what i want to do for myself.dnt know if i am being realistic esp after a certain age chances become lesser to compete and your energy levels take a back seat. I have a 6 year old daughter who lives with me .

my present job is in admin its just a job ,I dont love what i do, barely pays my bills!!!and i would like to get into weddings and may be some day even open a wedding compnay of my own!!

i want to move into a bigger city so oppurtunites are more.

i am finany ready for a new relationship,But i dnt get an oppurtunity to meet people who would be my ideal match so only other way i think is online dating.

My question is am i being too adventures with my life?? Am i even thinking straight!! want diffrent persperctives

Reply from MANALONE on Dec 30 2016 at 21:50
Member since: 29 December 2013
Gender: Male

You're correct, there are millions of people who start over at the age of 45 but there's also millions who start over at any age. It's to do with the will to set achievable goals and when you do set yourself a goal, you are in fact, setting out at being successful of achieving it at that very moment.

If your goal is to better your life by relocating where there's more opportunities to assist you, then so be it. At your age, you're using the experience of previous years to help you sort and guide you where you need to go. Your post is your self doubt which effects us all at certain times, but don't let anybody tell you that you can't achieve something when we are all capable of achieving things which sometimes surprise ourselves. All that matters is.. to achieve something, you have to start it from somewhere.

You have 6 year old who will only benefit from your confidence to have a go and when you do achieve your goal, you'll be all the more happier and secure.

Reply from SOULMATE (moderator) on Dec 30 2016 at 23:24
Member since: 19 August 2014
Country: United Kingdom

In my early 20s, I was hiring 40, 50, and even a 68-year-old 'retiree' (female). It's only a problem being over 40 if, mentally, it's apparent you're already winding down and lack ambition and ideas - and energy, yes, albeit a new job that EXCITES the candidate acts as a turbo...which, with you, it obviously would (because your enthusiasm is already palpable) - so I wouldn't worry about that. Just ensure your CV sounds enthusiastic and energetic to-suit. For example, where you stipulate your age, try 'Thirty-fifteen-years-old ' (assuming the company you're applying to isn't stuffy and appreciates a sense of humour, that is...which is where your research comes in). Also, ensure to mention noticeably that getting your first job in your industry is a long-held dream. Better yet, when they agree to your sending in your CV, TAKE IT BY HAND, even if you leave it at reception. Receptionists are a mine of information.

Another tip: when you speak to the HR person to ask to be considered for sending your CV in, ask for a sample of their regular suppliers, explaining that you'd like to briefly 'interview' them over the phone so as to get a clearer, truer opinion from some of the horses' mouths about the calibre and culture of their company. TRES unexpected, impressive and what's more - memorable.

I'll tell you who I *didn't* hire, though: a lady of (yep) 45 who - almost right off the bat - *too* soon - said, 'Don't worry about me being so much older than you, I still have plenty of drive'. Alarm bells went off. I hadn't even said a thing about her age. She was pre-empting. I concluded, SHE obviously had a problem - with MY age - as well as a stereotypical preconception - and additionally was showing her desperation (how would hot goods have time to become desperate?). Plus, it was a bit like the wolf in sheep's clothing who tells you, 'I'm a really nice guy', whether that once too often or too vehemently-defensively. Nice is as Nice *does* (actions speak) thus doesn't need any spelled-out embellishment, INNIT! So don't mention A THING about your age, just (in the CV, on the phone and/or in-person) *be* bouncy, enthusiastic, talkative, grinning like a Cheshire Cat that's just won the lottery just by being in with a chance, whereby your paper age then switches to becoming a *flattering* backdrop as provides incongruous contrast ("Was that 'Tigger' REALLY in her Forties - NO WAAAY!?").

If you can't get in that way, try for a job at an up-market florist's or exhibition equipment manufacturer-supplier or whatever other suppliers and associative firms regularly fraternise with the industry sector you're aiming at, because, often, it's not what you know but WHO you know (or know of) so that would be a cunning way to get your foot in the door, their having already 'sampled' you (even if only over the phone), thus a legitimate short-cut to save time.

In line with what Manalone's just advised, getting or getting close to your dream job is your first step as will (eventually, once the job's ticking along like clockwork...be greedy at your peril!) lead to meeting a likeminded of the romantic variety.

Don't worry about this recession, either. All a recession achieves is to force employers to let go off any CHAFF. The chaff needn't be liabilities, they might more simply include the office joker who, despite couldn't run a bath, let alone a department, does at least constantly enhance office morale (luxury! - can't afford luxuries during this climate! - "wiv regret, 'e's FAARED!") whereas if you're wheat, no serious, self-respecting business person would ever let them be one of the first to go; they're the VERY LAST to go ...as well as the first to be hired in the first place. So if you know you're wheat, even if at this inexperienced point only in attitude, the climate shouldn't concern you any more than your on-paper age.

Basically, one 'instructs' another human being about whether to be concerned with what could be considered an issue *or not*. As I've illustrated - if *you* don't have a problem with your age, as will emanate via your demeanour and behaviour - then neither will the interview, save for those who are legitimately, die-hard ageist (in which case, you wouldn't want to work for them anyway because it would just be part and parcel of a problem-in-waiting flashing its ankle).

Also, the energetic aka youngsters NAG ("Oh, PLEASE can we go to Disneyworld, please-please-please-please" and repeat daily) (what the hell am I telling *you* that for, LOL!). Obviously you have to find a balance because this is the professional domain we're talking about, but the principle stands. So do do just *enough* chasing/following-up after any interview or CV receipt to prove your still-youthful point as well as to convey, 'I don't want "a" job, I want THIS ONE!!!'.

Anyway, SELF, what with how you 'spoke' and all those superfluous, extraneous exclamation- and question-marks, I suspect the truth is more this: You're used to possessing a certain level of energy capacity/access and, merely because you're not as bouncy today as you were a decade ago - FOR YOU, BY *YOUR* STANDARDS - you now think you feel and act old, just because you're old-ER, whereas, [1] it's probably more BOREDOM causing (for you) lethargy, and [2] compared to your average 45-year-old....well, (actions!) the word Tigger didn't spring to my mind for no reason, did it.

Wotch your pselling (and punctuation), though. In fact, if anything, I'd say you need to slow DOWN a bit! (!!!!!!!!) (LOL)

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