Trapped in an affair
This is my first time to be in here
Ive been married 12 years and i have a daughter 6 yrs old, theres only one man i loved my whole life but for the 3 years we lost connection, he gained 60lbs and focused more on his own family parents siblings, he leaves us here at home all the time, and little by little i found myself falling outta love for him
I met this guy online 2.5 years and hes the most beautiful person ive ever seen in my life, very handsome, policeman and saves people not too hooked on money his appearance and character made me see his soul, hes this very alpha male and everything in him made every fiber of me fell for him, and story short i fell big time inlove with him, he made me so happy and gives me sexual pleasure, very good at cybersex, at first i thought it was just my crave for good body and intimacy and sex but in time i fell inlove with him big time...
I tried to detach like maybe 5 times in 3 years we were together because it makes me miserable, i dont think he loves me as much as i love him, no matter how i try, its an online thing, havent even met this person and i know he has other women he talks to as well, i cant live with that anymore because i already fell hard, but he comes back to me and i cant resist all the time on the other hand, my husband became this morbid obese man, hooked too much on earning money and has no time for me, and i cant even look at him when we have sex, i tried talking to him a lot of times about his weight, i think almost everyday i try, talking calmly sometimes angry, sometimes turns to a fight, but he gets furious and dont understand me, husband says i dont get him... His weight caused him to be hospitalized twice i resent my husband for being like this, i cant even look at him for having a tummy like that, and the doctors always tells him to lose weight, but never listens, i am not saying i have a perfect body but i take care of myself because i want him to be proud of me and dont lose attraction of me....
Now im in the middle of breaking up with my online guy and i dont know how to forget him, my heart is so broken and it feels like im so trapped with nowhere to go.... I dont wanna be like this anymore, i have been a good gf to my husband way before we got married, ive always been a good wife and mother, it just happened when he strated to be morbid obese that started this crave for sex and passion somehwere else
I need help........ Please try not to judge me i already know the mistakes i have done
I think you have to learn self-control. A good woman should learn when to stop. And your husband, love him even tho he's obese. I know you have the good intention for him. Tell him to stop. And i advice you to not to talk to anyone on the internet, esp you have a husband.
Does your husband know how very unhappy you are?
You need express yourself in front of a counselor, in a safe place where you can let it all out. I think you are trying to justify your affair and this "fantasy lover" is distracting you from really working on your marriage.
(BTW - if marriages broke up because of weight gain of one of the spouses, there would be no one still married. There's something to say about that vow . . "in sickness and in health."
Your husband sounds as miserable as you are.