My problem is I feel like I've bit more than I can chew and feel a bit overwhelmed at how little time we actually have "alone" even when we're together. The icing on the cake for me was our recent conversation where he told me that he loves me but he doesn't feel the same way about me as I feel about him. According to him he doesn't want to separate and he wants to stick it out, but who wants to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way you do? I see forever with him and although it's what he wants, he also says that he wants to feel the same way I feel about him. I think this might be an excuse and he's just looking for me to be the one to walk away since he probably doesn't have the courage to do it.
So what do I do? Do I walk away now knowing that he may never feel the same way I feel about me, or do I stay in hopes that one day he will feel the same way I do. I'm so torn. He possesses all the qualities I've ever wanted in a man minus the not feeling the same way I do. He's loving, respectful, considerate, funny, and loyal and every one who meets him tells me he's the one. I just can't get over him not feeling the same way I'm feeling. Am I right to feel this way, or am I overacting?
On the other hand, ask yourself why you would remain with a guy who you have supported emotionally throughout the last 5 months to, going by your post, a somewhat intense degree, who then turns around and states that he doesn't love you as you love him and then leaves you hanging with that statement.
You've hung onto his hand and supported him when he needed you and now he's declared he might love you as you love him, but not now thank you..maybe in the future? In the meantime, you get to have him with his attached daughters.
And then, there's you, asking that he make some kind of commitment after only 8 months - right in the middle of all this.(death of ex, grieving/clingy adult children, grandkids, etc.)
If he's as wonderful as you say, then give him some time to come to the same place as you are.