To stay and keep trying or give up
Hi. I have been in a relationship for quite some time. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs but the last 12 months have been anything but easy. I found out quite by accident 12 months ago he was seeing someone else. And she's married. When I confronted him originally he told me she meant nothing and was just a fling. But its continued on a regular basis of 1 weekend with her about every month to 6 weeks. I tried to talk to him about what it was doing to me but he just got defensive and angry. He promised we'd do something special for new year but he never turned up. He spent it with her. I was so upset at being lied to and betrayed again I told her husband. He abused me both verbally and physically. He's been telling me for months he was getting rid of her. But he told me this week that he's kept her around in case we fell apart. How was that helping us. Now he won't talk to me at all. I want the truth from him about everything but he refuses to discuss things. I think I need to let go but don't know how or whatto do.
You need to walk away rather than allow yourself to be used continuously by a guy who basically has no respect for anyone, let alone himself. Forget about telling the husband of the woman he's supposedly with, instead, ask yourself why bother wasting your time continuing to be involved in a sordid situation. Your very actions take you down to his level and the truth is an alien thing to him.
You need to realize that you owe it to yourself to get away from this guy and his abuse, because anything else is betraying yourself and your need for a normal relationship where you will be respected regardless of it's ups and downs.