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Is it me???

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I think my husband has a totally different idea of what marriage means. I have 4 kids, 2 with first husband 2 with current husband. I work 30 hours a week but husband wants me to go back to 37 hours. He works 40 miles away so spends about 3 hours a day driving. When he gets home from work he has his tea (which I cook) then falls asleep in front of the telly. I get myself up in the mornings, get me and the kids up and ready for school then drop off at school. Husband gets up after me and goes to work. And the cycle continues. Then at the weekend he stays in bed until late afternoon or teatime. If he's not asleep he's playing on his computer. I fetch and carry the kids, attend all parents evenings etc etc. He pays the household bills and I buy the shopping, presents for birthdays, Christmas egg. I pay for after school clubs, breakfast clubs etc. We don't have holidays.He earns 4 times what I earn and I am at my overdraft limit due to buy all the Christmas gifts. He constantly had a go at me for spending money. I rarely spend it on me. So he now has my bank card to stop me spending and now he's whinging cos I'm asking for money all the time for car parking, buses etc. The house was his before I met him. He doesn't get in with my older 3 kids and you eouldnt believe the language he uses with my eldest daughter. Sorry if this is confusing I was trying to get key points down. What do I do first?? I can't just walk away with 4 kids.

Is it me???

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Get your bank card back. He is controlling you. If he doesn't give it back report it stolen and get a new one.My sister spent 14 years in a controlling relationship trust me it's not worth it you'd be better off on your own with the kids

Is it me???

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I'm afraid Christine has said it all - you're being controlled and financially abused (as a method to Isolate) (and your daughter verbally mistreated) - go google, 'symptoms of...' or 'all forms of...'.

What was the significance of your mentioning that the house *was* solely his before you [married] him? FYI, that's immaterial, seeing as how it ceased being solely his and became half yours the minute the vicar/registrar said, 'I now pronounce you...', and will REMAIN half yours - including *all* marital wealth and assets - in the event of a separation (Interim Spousal & Child Maintenance) or divorce (one-off settlement or continued but readjusted S&C Maintenance - either until pensionable age or (quite possibly in maltreatment/abuse cases) or for-life). Not least because he earns FOUR TIMES your salary *and/yet* has been failing to behave like a husband and father (judges are only human and *exceedingly* healthy-family orientated...they find a way to settle old, *actual/important* scores, trust me on that).

However, you should give him the chance to change his ways by first saying, 'Houston, we have a problem'. Have you?

So that's what you do: give him a chance and, if he won't make the necessary changes to ensure you feel like an equal, thus happier, marital partner - ask around for the name of a good solicitor that'll offer an initial free consultation in order to know that where you would "if" or will "when" stand isn't the blockade you seem to think it'll be. Quite the opposite by the sounds.

Is it me???

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PS: https://www.peoplesproblems.org/showtopic/9662/Feeling-Extremely-Hurt-And-Need-Advice-His-Physical-Wants-While-Im-Ill

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