Wife to be serviced by another man
I have a fantasy to wear something of my wife's then for her to tie me to a chair and lock me in a closet while I listen to her having sex with another man.I've talked this over with her and she is up for it.I am a decent bloke but just have this one fantasy to be locked away in her clothes and made to listen to her getting hot and having sex with someone else.Should I go for it or get help.
Good day Sid,
You and your wife need to go for counseling.
Couples find it hard to recover when they find our their partner cheated on them. But here you both are, planning towards it!
You really both need counselling. Something is somehow wrong somewhere in your relationship and its still crawling under. You both need to treat it off ASAP.
Apply wisdom friend.
Wish you the best.
Yes Sid ROYALBLOODS right! Fulfilling this cuckold fantasy will be like opening up Pandora's box with no turning back. I'm not speaking from experience but from all that I've read the majority stated that they regret it
Yes counciling is a good idea.
I'm no expert, but if nobody is getting hurt, and everyone is wanting this, what is the big deal? I have friends that have been in open relationships and if you are both mature enough for something like that, then okay. And there is a whole world of BDSM people. This fantasy isn't something new. Read a romance novel, geesh. Prunes acting like your defected because you have a naughty fantasy. Stories like this sell every day. Just look at 50 Shades of Gray.
Living with an unfulfilled, never attempted fantasy may give you a sense of regret. That isn't good, either. Think about it clearly. Have safety measures in place as well. There are people that train and take care of fantasies like this. Seek a professional and keep yourself safe. But don't deny yourself because other people aren't comfortable with it. Some people aren't. It takes all kind in this world.
That's my opinion. Be safe and make sure everyone involved knows what is expected. Hope you make the right decision for you.
BEEPOND it's not a big deal if strict rules are followed. But according to statistics 95 percent of open relationships/marriages become a disaster. Don't get me wrong it is a super hot fantasy as long as his wife stays true and honest to her husband.
Wow, 95% of open marriages end in disaster? That's not what I've read. In fact, I've read that people into BDSM are on average in better mental health and marriages of swingers divorce rate is in the single digits. The key is communication. I think you can do anything together and keep a strong relationship if you agree (no taking one for the team) and communicate. So, should you do the closet fantasy? Your wife is the best person to ask. Just talk honestly before and, if you do it, after.
Yes there's all kinds of information out there about BDSM and open marriages. But if the firm ground rules aren't followed the marriage winds up in divorce. And the statistics that I read said the percentage back in 2014 was 95 percent. Where ever I read it I'll have to get back with you on that.
Now I'm not an expert here i only know what I've read from Huffington Post,Redbook and psychology today. But in the end this is SIDS choice and his kink not his wife's she's merely willing to go along with it.
I usually start my searches for information like that with "Scientific Studies for . . ." and I get little known acedemic articles. Perhaps the "Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality" has information about these subjects if you search for that. Psychology Today is somewhat scientific aimed at the general population. But I usually don't trust mass marget publications.
cuckold is more the description for his fantasy look up the definition. And I really hate to admit it but it is a turn on. I've been doing a lot of reading about it Christopher Ryan, Dan Savage
This fantasy is largely cuckold but contains BDSM (bondage, humiliation) and cross dressing. I'll admit that I don't understand what makes this so exciting but it is his fantasy. His wife is willing (probably excited to get a lover). This could blow up and ruin their relationship or it could be something that is good for them. Communication will determine that.
Some guys don't understand it but I do in some ways it's hard to explain. Humiliation is one part of the fantasy being tied up or gagged but watching part of the wife getting penetrated is the real turn on.
It was like one of the cuckold stories I read the author said
For those men who don't understand no explanation can be given. For those men who do understand no explanation is needed.
I feel like if you are feeling this way, there's a good chance that you actually want to be with somebody else.
I don't know, maybe I can't fully relate. The thing is, yeah, maybe the idea of a woman who screws other guys is hot and all... But mostly, imo, because this means I could be the other guy who she could sleep with, or because this means in return for letting her sleep with someone I could sleep with another woman. The whole "dirty girl" thing comes into play, too. But the thing about that is, it's only hot to you whenever you're in the mood for it - the rest of the time you'll see her as ruined, and resent her for the inequality in the relationship.
In reality, unless you are some really good-looking people who get along well with other good-looking people, then I don't see it working out.
From my experience, women are kind of biased and selfish. If you let her have sex with other guys she probably will, and will actively use the permission to find whatever she wants. She will be extremely offended, however, if you bring up the idea of having sex with another woman. And okay, yeah, maybe you can get enjoyment out of her and another guy. Why can't she do the same, and get enjoyment out of you with another chick?
Women aren't really into seeing their man have sex with another woman.
This fantasy is mainly a man thing if you get a chance read the book sex at dawn from Christopher Ryan or at least parts of it. Just for the record I really don't have a girlfriend nor am I married. I know you might think it's strange or bizarre but it is a turn on to me.
People don't get to choose what turns them on. Some think they did but the reality is that they just happened to align with mainstream or they deny what really gets them going. Cuckold, humiliation, and pain are not as uncommon as you think. Bondage is probably common. Cuckold could be motivated by wanting a wife that loses herself to passion, even if it is not with the husband. It could be voyeur motivated. Heck, who knows?
Marriage has a nesting component where people are combining their lives and goals. Many people are starting to see sex as external to that and they can have great nesting marriages. Many see sex as important but bring others into their sex lives almost like sex toys. It is their shared sex life with a visitor.
Read "The Erotic Mind" for some good understandings.
I think the fact that cuckolding is taboo in a marriage is what makes it so tempting. Curiosity about crossing the line or to see how far one would go. Sitting next to the bed while your wife is being serviced by another man.
I felt like responding again because this is such a touchy subject, and I feel like all sides of the issue should be examined.
Firstly, I don't think most men would want the woman they really love to be given to someone other than themselves. They would want their intimacy to be...intimate - between only the two of them. When my ex and I were starting to fall out of love and lose interest in each other, that's when the subject of swinging came up. It meant more to be with other people than to be exclusive to one another.
Modern feminism and female empowerment is probably what makes cuckolding so widespread. Some men probably love their wives enough to give them away to others, but the fact that they don't expect the same in return means they're basically whipped in society. They've come to expect a subservient role - probably because modern society has taken away most of the power men had to begin with, and continues to. In a world that cares increasingly more about things that are nontraditional than things that are traditional, monogamy - one thing men actually got from their wives in marriage that was of benefit to them - is now thrown away and leaves them trapped in a relationship and unable to pursue others, while their wives are free to do whatever. And the emasculated men continue to encourage it.
Secondly, I want so strongly to call bs on the idea that women aren't into the idea of watching their man with other women. But it's a really difficult thing to argue, since male cuckolding is pretty much all you hear about. I think part of it refers back to what I was just talking about - modern feminism. When women got such a good thing going for them and can get lots of men, why would they want to let men have that kind of equality?
I know there has been research done that has shown women can get just as turned on watching, as they do participating. And research has shown that women are more likely to be bisexual, or closer to other women on a more intimate level than men. So it seems, to me at least, that there is some serious disconnect between the expected outcome - that women like sharing their men just as much as men like sharing their women - and the reality - that men are the only ones really talking about and becoming obsessed with sharing their wives and girlfriends.
Perhaps - and this would make some logical sense to me - men are just more likely to record and share their sexual exploits with their partner, than women are - and that's why there are an ungodly number of cuckold videos, versus very few cuckquean videos.
Yes indeed this is a touchy subject with males and also sparks alot of opinions. But like it or not cuckolding/voyeurism does exist. ALTREAL I stand corrected according to Christopher Ryan both sexes are capable of watching and becoming aroused. There is a difference between you and me though.. You've been married or had a serious gf I haven't.
ALTREAL has some good points. There actually is good recent research that uses body responses and self reporting that says women's sexual drive is more varied and animalistic than men's. Ancient Greek and Roman literature even made reference to that fact. However, women are much less aware of their arousal than men. Neither sex reported arousal watching monkey sex but women's bodies did respond. There is no doubt that women can and do expand sexually when it is demonstrated to them just how strong and varied their arousal can be. Being aroused by other women can surprise them and delight them.
Perhaps men are aware of these facts, even subconciously, and see cuckolding as benifical to then because it might energize their woman's sexuality. If you read or listen to couples stories about becomming swingers you will see that the suggestion is usually made by the male. However, soon after they start the female awakens and frequently enjoys swinging more than the male.
Swingers also cite an increased intimacy due to talking more, revealing more and learning more. They have to talk to know how they will determine who they will play with and what they will do. They have to learn non-verbal ways to tell each other how they are feeling while in the company of others. So, swingers say they are sharing their spouses sexually but their own sexual relations with their spouse become more intimate and meaningful.
You've talked about it (more than most couples do), your wife has accepted the idea (more than most couples do). A lot of women would be disgusted at the mere thought of a fantasy involving anyone else, regardless of what it was. I've seen threads on different forums where women have left their husbands simply because he approached her about a 'kinky fantasy', worded in such a way to make it appear she was completely disgusted at the thought. So the fact your wife hasn't chucked you out and actually wants to go ahead, is a massive show of how much you have together. It's clear you have a trust and probably want the fun aspect.
If you want to do it, just do it, just know the risks. You might both chicken out in the moment, or half way through, or both feel huge shame afterwards putting a bit of an awkwardness in the marriage. Someone else has said, there are places you can go that can facilitate such fantasies, in a safe environment, I'm sure with safeguards in case you back out at the last minute. If it has to be at home, use the net to find proper sites where you might meet other couples with the same fantasy, or have done it many times so can know exactly how you feel.
Some of the previous comments here are prudish. I don't personally have fantasies but I'm still young(ish), I'm still happy with the tradition of 'making love' and the typical 'let's do it on the stairs tonight dear' (well, not for a while now...). But I imagine older couples (not literally of course...) who've been 'making love' the same way for decades, want a little but more spark and that's when they might turn to BDSM or swinging or nude camps (not sure what they get up to there...), it's certainly not uncommon and is nothing to be ashamed of if it's what you enjoy. There is certainly no way to know whether you'll enjoy it or not until you do it. A bit like skydiving or bungee jumping, loads of people do it but there are massive risks! It must be a better option than secretive affairs?
If you both want to do it, just try it. As long as you're transparent with each other it will only affect your marriage if you let it i.e. if you chicken out halfway but your wife doesn't...