Marriage and doing seperate things?
Ok so been with my wife for 9 years now, we have a pretty good relationship id say, we have a 20 month old baby boy and a 7 week old girl. The last month my wife has felt like she is bored with her life and is stuck home, and that I go to work and that I can go and do my music things (im a musician) such as gigs etc which is possibly once a month..
So the other day she mentioned about being bored with her life and that she wants a change, and that I get all the time out with my shows, visiting friends etc. so now im feeling guilty and bad,
1. Is this normal with 2 children esp a newborn?
2. How can I still go out/ but help her to go out more aswell?
She says her highlights are going out to her mums for tea, which we do often any advice?
First of all Congratulations! And yes this is a fairly normal and common feeling. Your wife is feeling bored and stuck at home. (It's easier to stay at home instead of having to bring half the house out with two babies!) And she may be feeling a little resentful of you. Well your life hasn't totally upturned as much as hers has. You go to work, you leave the house, you talk to other adults! She gets up and her day is a whirlwind of looking after two young babies, at some point in the day she would probably love to have a nap especially if she does night feeds with the newborn (do you help with those?) but she can't have a nap so she keeps going. Maybe she doesn't even have a proper lunch, so now shes tired and hungry!
Maybe she can't get on top of household chores, so now shes tired hungry and she's thinking the house is messy! But you are in work talking to work colleagues, maybe going out to lunch. Maybe your daily routine hasn't changed at all.
Not only has your daily routine not changed but you still have your hobby going to gigs. And she is still at home exhausted, but now bored too. You can help by encouraging her to have a night off, while you mind the kids, does she have many friends? sisters? that she can have some time out.
It is tough at times when the kids are so young and at the time you are thinking when will it change, but you know those years fly in so fast! so try enjoy them too. But if your wife knows you are thinking and trying to help her she wont feel like shes been left out, tell her that you understand and ask her what would she like to change, ask her what can you do to help her feel more contented.
Best of luck!
Sounds like HER life has changed dramatically, yet you get to keep the same fun activities before kids.
What are YOU doing to make sure she gets to enjoy some fun times outside of the house?
Make sure you have date nites together.
Your marriage will die if you don't let your wife have hobbies and see her friends. She should go out a few nights a month while you stay at home and clean up after dinner and put the children to bed. You wife will be happy and she won't complain when you go out to do your music thing and see your friends.