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Fundamental disagreement with my husband makes me sad

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I am pro-life. My husband is not. Some time ago he made reference to abortion in a callous comment: "It's going to come in so you may as well get used to the idea." I have had serious difficulty in talking to him about any real subject apart from kids and timetables since. When I said I didn't want to shop in Tesco anymore because of their stance on Every Life Counts, we ended up in a flaming row. I am avoiding talking about it with him because I hate confrontation but I feel like our relationship is disintegrating since he so clearly doesn't care about how I feel on this sensitive issue.

Fundamental disagreement with my husband makes me sad

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Welcome Shauna,
Well, you lucky you have such a marriage that what makes you and your hubby hit the rock a times is pro life issue.
Its a sensitive topic tho, everyone has varying opinion to it. But you both could just one day sit and in a joking and casual way discuss about the topic as to why the other partner holds a particular view on the topic. You may just find out that what was lacking was just mere enlightment on the part of one partner.
Keep your marriage safe and as quarrel free as you have it already.
All the best Shauna. Regards to the hubby.
Cheers!! :-)

Fundamental disagreement with my husband makes me sad

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Dear Shauna,

You have every right to view this issue from your perspective. And I'm sorry your husband is being really insensitive about the whole thing. In today's world, where progressive ideas are all anyone cares about and they crap all over any previously popular ideas, it is especially frustrating. The dirty little secret is, it's a lot easier to "fight the big, bad, oppressive majority" than it is to actually stand up for an idea that is facing widespread scrutiny.

The abortion issue in particular is one that has been raging on in debate for so many years now. It's a shame that an abstract concept like abortion can come between two people who made a decision to be together as a couple. You know, Royalblood's advice makes a great point in that respect. The way it should be is, you two love each other and that comes first, and you should be able to respect each others' differences in opinion. I know it can be difficult to look on the other side, but have you also tried to see and respect your husband's point of view on the issue? You at least have to try to, just as your husband needs to for you. I'd say that's a part of communication, and understanding each other in your relationship.

I like to give people hope, but at the same time I like to give people realistic hope. I don't want to send you away from this bit of advice, just painting the picture that everything will be rosy with this dispute you and your husband are having.

From my experience, it seems like the world in general is all about dividing rather than uniting. And society will always make one side of the argument (usually the more popular one) into the "good guy", and the other side into the "bad guy". Your husband probably views you as being stuck in "old ways", and thinks life starts mattering a lot farther on that you do. He apparently thinks you haven't given enough thought to your options, should you become pregnant. You probably think he isn't taking procreation and responsibility seriously enough, and that he really hasn't given enough thought to what it is like to hypothetically become pregnant and to be responsible for new life.

At the end of the day, there may not be such a thing as a perfect partner. There could be lots of other men out there who hold similar views to you on this issue, but then they might also be missing a lot of the qualities your husband has that you like. I don't think either of you are getting away from the topic of abortion, so you will either need to respect each other's viewpoints or continue to argue about it.

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