Feeling kinda lost
So since September last year, I've been living off my savings which are slowly melting away, and I should probably look for something meaningful to do. The most important thing to me is my boyfriend, and he's probably the reason I have any motivation to do anything (I think). I've been growing apart from my friends and family, and I find most people annoying, to the point where going out to see people is exhausting. This probably sounds like a mental condition to you, but I used to be in therapy for about a year and it's really hit and miss, my problems seem to recur and I normally see through the therapist and know exactly what they're going to say. Do you think that life is just meant to boring and slightly sad for some people and sometimes its normal to have zero energy? I used to have a career and earn a lot (hence my savings) but after achieving a managerial position, I got this feeling of "is that all there is? this is so unfulfilling" and one day I just quit without knowing what to do next. I just think that our modern civilisation churns out lots of corporate jobs which are a total waste of time. I also don't care much for people (apart from my boyfriend) and see through their games. It is funny how nobody talks to me anymore now that I do not have a full-time career. I would like to be a dog walker and posted some ads locally. I mentioned this to my parents and they ridiculed the idea. Why do people have to be so judgmental. Actually I feel sorry for anyone who reads this useless rant, but hey, thank you for reading.
Hello and first of all I'd like to say it's not a useless rant. You're expressing how you're feeling and we all need to do that now and again.
You're lacking motivation, you had it once hence managerial position and friends so you will get it back. You just have to find it again. Why not try become a volunteer for a local pet rescue centre while you're waiting for your replies to your dog walking ads. That will at least give you motivation to get out of the house and that's a start!
And yes life is sad and boring at times, but then it's exciting and wonderful! then its boring and sad. But instead of thinking of the boring sad times, try think of the good positive things you have going for you. You have a boyfriend, parents and friends even though right now you don't want to see them. And you say nobody wants to talk to you anymore because you don't have a full-time career, but might it be that they can sense your annoyance when they meet you? (" and I find most people annoying, to the point where going out to see people is exhausting")
I think the more we retreat into ourselves and the longer we do, it becomes easier to avoid the world, but sometimes all it takes is one little step outside of the normal routine or wall that people have built for themselves, is all it takes, one little step. And once that step is taken the feeling of wanting a little more can kick in.