Please help, conflicted life in high school
I'm really conflicted on what to do with my life. I'm in high school, I'll graduate next year but I can graduate halfway through next year, which I'm leaning towards. At school, I really don't have any real friends because I don't like to party and drink. I grew up in a super loving family and I love them more than anything. I could never betray my family by doing something like that, after all they have done for me. (My parents don't drink btw). They don't deserve that and I don't have the heart to drink or smoke or party and lie to them about it. I feel I much more mature than everyone around me, I've been focusing on my grades and I'm excited for college. Every day for school I try really hard to look nice and I am constantly insecure about how I look. I've heard people say I was gross and not attractive, and it kills me inside because all I really want is nice friends who accept me and want to hang out with me. Since I was in 7th grade, I have been into beauty and YouTube videos. I could never have enough courage to post a video. Everyone at my school would judge me and talk about me. They did the same to a girl back in middle school, and all she posted was videos of her singing! I live in a wealthy area where everyone thinks they are better than everyone else. I used to make videos and edit them, but I would just delete them off my computer. Recently a YouTuber has influenced me, she is very similar to me and she has graduated early and is now becoming bigger on YouTube. Her family seems very similar to mine and I think she has helped me through this time in my life. My parents don't see makeup as anything else but a waste of time and money, but I really love makeup! I still want to go to college and have a career, but it would be such a dream to have a YouTube channel and a few close friends who support me. I know it doesn't seem this hard just to put a video up, but as soon as it is released, everyone at school will look at me different, treat me different, and rumors and backbiting will just start. It's very hard because I really don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you ❤
Don't make other people prevent you from doing the things you love. Sounds easier than it is, but stopping yourself from doing those things because of what others might think won't get you anywhere. Don't run away from your dreams because of them.
I used to be bullied back in high school because I didn't study / got low grades / had no friends / was awkward / never smoked and drank etc (still don't, fuck that shit honestly). They'd always tell me I was worthless because I failed classes. The reason I didn't study was because I was always doing my own stuff at home and had no interest in school at all. One of my main hobbies was making games, and I recently released a successful game and I'm even making quite some money with it. I sincerely hope the assholes back in high school now realise I'm not completely worthless. They're probably wasting their lives doing drugs now anyway while I'm focusing on expanding my knowledge and talents.
Enough about me (sorry), what I'm trying to say is that you being different isn't a bad thing at all. It's bad other people are such unoriginal lifeless drunk idiots blindly following each other because they lack the proper capacity to think for themselves. Follow YOUR dreams and live YOUR life. Anything coming from people you don't have a positive connection with should be rendered completely useless and irrelevant to you. Ignore them and focus on what you really want to achieve, no matter what it is.
PS: Please don't go to the drinking/partying side. It's where all evil and stupid grows. The world needs people like you who don't waste their life doing such inferior and retarded activities. Stay healthy. Stay mature. Stay successful. Screw idiots. And sorry for ranting a bit.
Wow, in two years, I'm going to graduate too! Anyway, throughout my freshmen years, I learned that people opinion don't matter. What matter is our own opinion. How we dress, how we talk, and how we act are for us to decide. So if you want to be a beauty guru, go for it!