PeoplesProblems Logo

I just want to settle down

Default profile image
Relationship advice 2010 I met the love of my love (guy 1), during this courtship I met another guy (guy 2) who just made my world to be totally different to the one I was living in. He swept me of my feet like no other guy has ever did. There was this strong connection between us which was just unexplainable. I then lost contact with the guy (guy2) for 5 years. I dated my boyfriend (guy1) for 5years 6months, we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that we were dating for so long, in which he had planned for us to wed by then, but was hard cause he didn't have a job. He just couldn't handle the stress anymore so he asked that we part ways. By fate I bumped into guy2 just after that incident with my boyfriend happened, we exchanged numbers and started communicating, that connection that we had 5years back was worse. Problem this time around was that he had just had a baby, but despite the baby he showed me affection. But what was so confusing was that even though he told me how much he loved and cared for me he couldn't leave the baby mama for me. Now there is this guy in the picture. His willing to give me everything that I'm looking for, he wants to marry me and start a family with me. With him I'm really not emotionally attached but can see potential.
Guy1_ what if i just wait for him and hope that he comes back cause i really love him
Guy2_ what if i give this whole thing time maybe with time he will come to his senses, just the way this guy makes me feel is out of this world
Guy3_ if i give him time maybe i might just feel something for him. With him I've got nothing to loose but everything to gain

please help me

I just want to settle down

Default profile image
Or ditch all three and go for Guy 4. Or Guy 5. This mythical 'soul mate' romance novel idea that you can only love one person in your life is proven wrong.
If guy 1 left. Say bye.
Guy 2 isn't going to leave baby momma because he doesn't want you more than her. Hard truth. He wants her, but he wants an easy lay, too. Plus, why would he leave. He has a baby wit this woman. It is much cheaper for him to stay than leave. Courts will make him pay big and he probably knows this. You are super attracted to this guy. It's just chemistry. Guess what, I guarantee that if you search, you will find another guy with a similar chemistry makeup and pow. You will be all over him, too. It's animal instinct, sister. He isn't special.
Guy 3- sometimes someone loves us and we don't love them. The nicest thing you can do is let someone go if you don't want them. In time, you may become bitter because you will be thinking of the other two guys and then you will be blaming him because you 'settled'.
Do yourself a favor and realize there are more than 3 fish in the sea. No person is perfect. Don't think that some Disney world romance is going to happen and you won't have to work and make sacrifices to have a relationship work. But also don't settle. Find someone you want to work for. That's just how I see it. Bee happy.

I just want to settle down

Default profile image
one couldn't handle a long term relatiosnhsip!!! so is this marriage material!!!! (unless you want a marriage that you rest for every 3-4 years ion and get back together. lol.

two wont leave a mother and child for you so is there any point

three you are not sure - by all means try (there is nothing to lose) but maybe go on a date and be open from the start to say soon after if you think it might be worth meeting up again.

but after that if you do not think 3 is the one (so to speak) then look elsewhere.

it might be easier to try with someone who might be ok, but it depends on what it is about them that isn't as good as guy 1 and 2.

what is it about three that makes you think there might be a chance there if you are not attracted to him?

but I think the reaction of the first two was so strong for you, I think you wil know if there is something there or not and would probably want to chase and dream about a new mystery guy that has caught your attention in a fresh way.

after reading your post again about guy three!!!! I'm not sure you should entertain more than 1 date just to see if you are still considering him. if you know already that he wants to start a family and marry you "BIG DEAL" and you know already that you don't feel emotionally attatched!!! children will quickly make you know for certain (maybe when its too late that you still don't feel attatched!!!!)

the best I can say is date no 3 once if you fancy a try and want to eliminate the regret of not knowing, and I think youll know if you click any more when its just you and him.

if the date doesn't work ....move on and look for another little fish in the "beepond" sea of good philosophy.

cya.X

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-2