Phobias and worrying
EMMAJM - Jan 29 2017 at 19:37
I'm fourteen and for ages I've had phobias of needles, shopping centres, escalators, heights and being il.l i get shakey if I come close to any of theses thing or think about them. I can't do anything I worry all the time I can't stop even if I try real hard to. I have lots of friends but they think I'm well weird. One problem I have is I have bad periods and last time at school I passed out in PE and I'm scared this will happen again. My doctor said I needed a blood test but I got freaked out at the needle going in my arm and I couldn't have it done. My mam was mad at me and said she was embarresssed of me and that I acted like a baby. My family don't like me my mam and dad get angry at me all the time and keep telling me I need to sort myself out but I don't know how. My sister is horrible to me all the time and does impressions of me. Shes nasty about my teeth I need braces but I'm too scared to have it done. I want to live with my nan she's the only person who listens but my mam has told her to stop talking to me about it and now I have no one to talk to.
I'm going to be up front about this, I'm a guy, I know nothing about periods so can't help you with that. That said I might be able to help with some of the rest. Oh actually I will say one thing about PE though, my sister always had male PE teachers, if she didn't want to do PE she'd just say that she was having girl problems and that would be enough to make them just agree that she didn't have to do it, not sure how likely to work that will be with other teachers, probably won't fly with a female teacher.
Now phobias, that I know something about, I have phobias of flying insects, doctors and elevators, I also have fairly serious social anxiety to the point where I will go into elevators despite the fear if it's socially expected that I take a lift, insects and doctors though I don't care what people think, I will panic with insects regardless of who is watching, I don't quite scream like a little girl but it's a close thing. As for doctors well I'd rather try to deal with things myself than see a doctor, a piece of advice DO NOT try to fix ingrown toenails yourself, especially if they're infected just go to a doctor, unless you want 2 and a half years of pain every time you take a step... To give you an idea of the social anxiety I am the guy who will stand by the door when everyone else is sat down because there's a new person in the group.
Now as for your family and friends I should be careful here because my views are not considered normal but personally I don't hold to the view that you owe some loyalty to family just because they're your family. Obviously good parents/siblings etc. are great and of course you love them, of course you care what they think, when they're not good that is when I say ditch them then. When I was growing up nothing was ever good enough for my Mum, she always made me and my sister feel terrible because we would come home from school proud of a good grade and all we'd get was "why wasn't it better?" and I hate her for that. My Dad has a temper and believes that so long as he can pay for things he's done his job as a father, I don't hate him but I don't love him either, I love my sister though and my Granny so it's not all bad. As for friends well a true friend will be your friend regardless of what problems you have, unless your problem is you random attack people, maybe not so many friends then... but other than that your friends should be understanding of your fears.
I know you don't want to have the blood tests but I would urge you to reconsider, the doctor wouldn't have wanted them if they didn't think it was necessary and it just might improve your quality of life over all. I'm not sure what the laws are regarding minors and doctors but have you considered taking your Nan with you to the doctor instead of your Mum? Your Mum doesn't sound like a calming presence maybe you'll do better when you're not expecting to get in trouble on top of everything else.
The final thought I'd like to leave you with is this, remember that family means different things to different people, I personally believe that your true family are people you choose to be around you and choose to care about, they can be family members or friends or any mixture of the two or anything else you choose to include.
Don't really know much about phobias but I think counselling will help you.
The blood test is probably quite important, I know this is quite old thread so hopefully you've had it done! But at a guess from what you've said it's probably to do with iron levels, I would of thought your gp would of told you what it's for.
As for your needle phobia, I think you can buy numbing cream from a pharmacy store. When you go to have it done I wouldn't let your mum go into the room with you again, if she gets that frustrated with you, if you can take your nan or your dad if he's more patient? Let the nurse know you're phobia and you can ask to lie/half sit up on the couch thing and just don't look! I know it's easier said then done and I know it's a fear but your health is more important, more so if something/ heavy periods are causing you to pass out :-/. I know which I'd prefer!
Getting braces doesn't hurt, unless things have changed since I had them which was like six years ago. It might a bit uncomfortable sometimes but it's normal to be nervous in the beginning coz you've never had them before. I don't remember ever having any injections though, if that's what your worried about. The only thing you might get is a headache when you first get them and get them tightened but the outcome is worth any headache or any discomfort. At least go to one appointment and tell them your nervous and hopefully you'll get reassured.
I agree, your sis does sounds like a bully and the best thing to do is ignore her and not argue back, she'll get bored and hopefully change. wouldn't say your family/parents dislike you, it's possibly frustration but some people don't understand phobias, anxiety or panick attacks. It does sound like they need to be more understanding though. Maybe if you try to go for the blood test (if you haven't done already) and see about braces they'll get more supportive and encouraging because they'll see you trying :-).