Struggling with weight loss all my life
I am currently 25 years old and I am 245lbs, morbidly obese. I have struggled for years trying so hard to lose weight, between diet pills, gyms, and trying to eat healthier, but it seems like after a few weeks, I just get so deterred by it that I just lose confidence in myself and cease to continue. Fortunately, I don't have diabetes, yet, but I really do not want to get to that point. I also struggle with severe anxiety, asthma, and depression, as well as a lack of basic life skills due to a lack of parenting, so I tend to stay shut inside unless I need to go to work or do an errand, because I have a constant fear of things I don't understand and a fear of people I don't know, and because of this, I don't have any friends I can rely on or to hang out with when I have free time.
I currently live with my disabled mom and brother. It becomes hard when trying to grocery shop when my mom and I go because she is always buying junk food and sweets, mentally encouraging me to do the same. In my head, I know these foods are bad, but the other side of me gets them anyways and it doesn't hit me until after I left the store that I've made the same mistake over and over again. It is frustrating that I feel like my mom is supposed to set a good example, but I'm mentally following after her. I also tend to drink a lot of soda. I tend to drink a 12-pack within a day, or sometimes within a couple of days. I find it hard to stop drinking soda because I've drank soda for so many years.
I feel like sometimes I make this mistake, too, because of my weight, I have become slow at my job, causing strain on my manager and coworkers. I am constantly yelled at because of not being able to complete my work, no matter how hard and fast I am trying, it's never enough no matter what I do. After a day of work, I tend to go shopping at my work (I work at a grocery store), and feel the need to buy unhealthy comfort foods in an attempt to feel better. My sister has tried to help me, but sometimes will not want to help because I get deterred so much that I don't follow through what she is trying to teach me to help lose weight.
I feel as though my living situation with my brother and mom is a contributor to why I am making these decisions. She has 6 cats and 2 dogs, and struggles with morbid obesity herself. Due to the animal smells, the clutter around the house and the stress between work, I tend to shut myself in my room to get away and often playing videogames to stay away from everyone. With feeling fatigued and stressed out, I honestly do not like leaving my room unless I have to, like eating, showering, going to work, or using the bathroom.
I am scared to end up like my mom, that is the last thing I want to happen. But I feel like I have less control of myself than I want to truly admit. Any advice is appreciated, I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't go on living an unhealthy life.
This was a post that I had made several years ago, if it helps to understand my mom at all. Two years after that post was made, we ultimately did lose our house and are currently moved into another town nearby. Regardless, the problem has persisted, fortunately no lizards or snakes.
(I forgot my log in and email information)
The fact that you know you have a problem is the first big step, you've overcome denial. Ideally you need your own space where you can think for yourself with no mental or physical influence. You'll never break the cycle unless you make your own decisions, which you can't do whilst feeling weak within yourself because it'll be too easy to let someone else make your decisions.
Have you looked into moving out of that house to your own space?
In the UK, stores and supermarkets splash fatty foods and confectionary all over the entrances and at the tills, it's too easy to buy junk food. It's wrong, but with a bit of will power you can stop buying it! Refuse to give that store the profit it earns from selling that cheap crap. Refuse to support their attempts to make people obese, giving them low confidence so they return to buy more of the same crap foods!
If you try and have fun at the same time as changing your lifestyle it will be much easier to accept and settle into. Get your sister round and cook together. Cook for the whole house, a one pot casserole with fresh bread. You will be surprised how quickly you feel full and you'll get satisfaction from having cooked or you'll get a laugh if you mess it up. You might end up eating the usual comfort foods if you mess it up but you'd have burnt lots of calories from the cooking, so even that's better! If you order take out, order something a little healthier than you usually have, you don't have to go too mad. Anything with chicken is healthier than other meats. You can still have burger and fries, but have chicken burger. If it comes with all sorts of toppings, have one less topping. Ask for one slice of cheese instead of two. You still get the comfort but with slightly less calories. It's a start and once you get that ball rolling, you just keep going. You don't have to cut out comfort food, just eat less of it. Soda - drink 11 instead of 12. You still get the comfort but less of it. Swap soda for flavoured water. Soda dehydrates, making you want to drink more. Water hydrates, so you can drink more water and still be healthier.
If you really can't bring yourself to change your eating habits, keep eating the same but exercise.
Every little thing you do burns calories. If you don't walk the dogs, start doing so. You only have to walk them a short distance. It'll burn calories, more than if you sat doing nothing. If you already walk them, walk them a bit further every time. Cross the road just for the hell of it, burning calories. Take one stride back for every five you take forward. All burning calories. You don't even have to leave the house! Got a step, do some step ups. Just walk laps around the yard/garden. Play fetch with the dogs if you have a garden. It doesn't matter if you're dog tired after just five minutes, you burnt some calories! Buy a stepometer and walk 20 steps more every single day. After 3 months you'll be walking one whole mile further than when you started. From three months you'll be walking that whole mile extra every single day, plus the extra 20 steps. Burning calories.
I guarantee that when you feel fitter, you'll feel better in yourself and more confident to say no to crappy food. Before you know it you'll be running every day and eating cous cous for lunch! Well, no one should eat that stuff yuck.
Right now I don't really have my own space, aside from my room at my mother's house. I'm currently not able to find housing for myself with bills and my hours at work being constantly cut. It makes it difficult to try to save money, but I've been trying to find a new job, or a second part-time, but to no success yet. I feel like my mother does have a bit influence over the bad habits in the household that causes me (and my brother, he has a bit of unhealthy habits as well) to eat and function unhealthy, as well as shutting myself away due to the stress I have at work and the stress she puts on me a lot. I rarely binge eat, though.
I truly wish I could move out, but I have a car payment, a Comcast bill I pay in order to stay at my mom's house, car insurance, phone bill, and what ever is left I use for food or necessities around the house. I have been getting into the mindset of not buying as much unhealthy foods as possible. I no longer try to buy frozen meals, and I try to buy leaner ground beef and chicken breast to try to cook with (I'm not a very good cook). I actually started buying fruits for the house for me and my brother to eat, instead of chips. Diet soda is my weakness, though. I've been trying to coordinate into drinking water, sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't. I decided to store the soda as furthest away from my room, with cases of water being in my room so that I'm more tempted to go and take that instead. So far, it is working pretty well.
My sister and I have talked about me moving in with her and her daughter, but right now with the hours at work being cut, it seems like it might not happen but the possibility in the future is still there, I hope.
I also thought about buying a bike so that I could ride that to work with once the rain and winter weather pass by to help with exercise as well.
You are very brave to acknowledge you need help. Have you talked to a medical professional about this? Many times ineffective coping skills can lead us down the wrong path, for example eating junk food instead of exercising to deal with stress. If you have a primary care doctor ask them to refer you to a bariatric clinic. Even if you aren't considering surgery, they should be able to set you up with a counselor and a medical professional that can help to manage your lifestyle in a way that is healthier for you. Take charge of your life now while you still can, like you mentioned before, you don't want to end up with diabetes or other PREVENTABLE health problems because of this. Good luck to you!