Facing a possible seperation
My wife & I have been together for 7 years, married for almost 3, & parents for almost 3. Our relationship has been rough at times and since we had our daughter we have become more parents than spouses. We want to do marriage counseling but live no where near anyone we trust with our daughter. My wife told me yesterday that she needs a break to figure out if she is better without me. i am so hurt and confused right now and want our relationship to work, but I dont see this "break" being good. Plus this break involves us still being in the same house together. She said we are not friends anymore and I told her how could we be friends if we dont hve timeto be friends. I am really hurt and confused right now and have no idea what to do. This is jumbled and may be missing parts but it is still very fresh and I am emotional.
Just my personal opinion...
I don't see how a break under the same roof can work. A break is just that, time AWAY from each other. I don't see how she can figure out if she's better without you whilst seeing you as much as she would before declaring the break.
It's also unfair for her to declare that you're not friends anymore. Surely it's fair to at least preserve the friendship for the sake of the children.
She may be having some issues at the moment but it sounds like she's really taking it out on you. Maybe she doesn't have any other way to vent, so she's punishing you to make herself feel better. It's not uncommon. Have you suggested that the break be a proper break where one of you stays out of the house for a short time? Only time apart will determine if you're better together or apart.
At the moment I'm with someone who won't accept we're over. To me, we just live together, with a 3 yr old too. There's no love, but she won't leave (my house) and I can't face just kicking her out. I can't say I know how you feel because I can't know, I instigated our break up although we tried the break apart, which I thought was successful but had the wool pulled over my eyes. Relationships are not easy, no one will ever have the right answers. Not on my experience anyway.
Why is it that you can't find anyone to watch your child for an hour while you and your wife try to put your marriage on track?
That may be a real clue about her life - she feels isolated and without support. No friend? No family around?
Counseling is a MUST! Call and make appt. now. Or attend separately at first, then together later.