CPR123 - Feb 6 2017 at 04:33
I have been married almost 29 years known each other 32 yrs . The last 3 1/2 yrs we've not had sex.
I've tried to talk with him but he won't talk to me about it. So I sent him a email that physical contact
means a lot to me and that it makes me feel unwanted and un-loved. Well all he said back that he's sorry
that I feel that way , he said he has just no desire to have sex. He won't try any pill he won't seek help.
I get kissed like a peck and a hug. I sent another email stating that maybe i should find a guy just to have sex
with since he doesn't want to. Im not ugly but not pretty either and who knows if anyone would have me. He
did not respond to my last email. Don't want to live without sex!!!!!!! What am I to think
Depending on how much actual love there is between you, you could be upfront and suggest a separation/divorce if you're both no longer happy together?
It may well be that he doesn't feel for you what he used to and whilst there's nothing wrong with that (who can help their feelings?), it is wrong if he's lying to you about how he feels about you. It's wrong to stay with you if he doesn't have the feelings and desire that brought you together.
Likewise, if sex is important to you, question whether what you have together is working any more? Is it time to go separate ways, he for his sexless lifestyle, you for another man who can fulfill your needs?
The last thing you should do is make threats to guilt trip the other. He's been honest to tell you he has no desire for sex. He hasn't said he doesn't fancy you anymore, or that he just can't get it up anymore, so he may be avoiding the 'real issue'. Either way, I think you need a good long talk but you need a way to open him up. Maybe apologise for sending that second e-mail (why are you e-mailing instead of talking - a sign of other issues?), soften him up by saying you understand that as marriages get longer, feelings change and that you wouldn't blame him in the slightest if his feelings have changed. In fact, you would respect him a lot more if he would just talk to you about it, get it out in the open. BUT, that you can't go on being ignored and not even talking to you.
THEN, it's up to you to decide what you want to do, look at all of your options and pick which one seems the best to YOU. If he doesn't want to commit to resolving your marriage issues, it's up to you to make the decisions.
There's always marriage counselling, but it may not resolve the sex, he may genuinely not be interested in it anymore, but would still be hurt if you just went with another man.
I'm in similar position but it's my wife who doesn't want it anymore and I'm only in my 30's. I agree with what was said above and perhaps an evaluation of your relationship. To me, sex is an important part of a marriage but try talk it through face to face and see where you both are and why you can't discuss things.
All the best to you
Does he display any signs of low testatrone or take any type of blood pressure medicine? It could be medical related and he is just to embarrassed to tell you. Especially if he is under severe stress.