My mom hates my best friend's family
I'm not saying she doesn't have a good reason. She has two older brothers that have been abusive towards the mother and the mother herself... has a bit of problems on her own, not to mention her father may not be her actual father. But either way... I've known this friend, let's call her Sarah, has been my closest friend since 3rd grade and we split schools at middle school. I see her, lets say, every 8 monthes. We go through so much together, she's had a bit of a depression problem for a while, considering the circumstances she lives under, and I try to help her through it as much as I can and I feel like I am making a difference. Whenever we DO see eachother we have the best of times and make enough memories to last until the next 8 monthes.
I understand my moms problem but the stakes are becoming ridiculous. She's seeing Sarah as, maybe... a threat? Even when the rest of her family is in no way involved she insists my father trail us around everywhere we go if she even allows us to meet up. She also has a grudge on Sarah because the last time we met up she was loud in the movie theater and for some reason that's stood out to her for the longest of times ((my mom wasn't even there)). At this point, I don't know what to do, it's more of the last straw because I feel like I have no freedom whatsoever and yes, I'm in the "too young for the real world but too restless to stay at home" phase if that's how to say it. I can't take this, I feel like I'm even more enclosed and restless because my mother is measures over measures of over protective anyway and I understand she's trying to keep me safe but it's at the point where I need to atleast get my knees scraped a little because I can't even sit near the front door. But either way, sorry for the novel. ---thanks..
Obey your mother. You do see some hints at the reasons behind her forbidding you right? So it is good and you will see why in the time to come. Christ bless you!
You are the age you are, and you have the parents you have. With most people, you will not be able to change them the way that you want. Take this as one of many opportunities that life will give you to find out more about yourself.
Can you work out why your parents, your mom in particular, is so protective of you? It sounds like you know what triggers this insecurity (the fear that your friend will cause you to 'act out')... are you able to demonstrate a level of maturity to your parents to reduce this fear? After all, it's far easier to control your own behavior than the behaviour of someone else - especially your parents! If you can truly put yourself in your mother's mindset then you shouldn't have any surprises.
With that said, its also quite likely that you won't be able to change the current situation in a meaningful way. If you allow this tension to damage your relationship with your mother, then you will be making her fears come true. There's a saying which I love because it is neither positive or negative, it just is... 'This too shall pass'
Thank you guys! I love my Mother with all of my heart, I am just having some difficulties lately!!! And yes, "this too shall pass" and I understand that!! I just am more so stuck in the moment like it's the end of the world. Deep down, I know it's not. Thanks!!
Parents are normally protective and worry for a reason but it doesn't mean their fears and worries are always true. Sounds like you know why your mum is worried and it's not a bad thing to be a little aware but it's your friendship, your the one speanding time with her, it's up to you.
People come from different back grounds and they can't choose their family and it doesn't mean they are going to make the same mistakes as their parents or siblings or be like them. They might choose to be the oppsite.
As long as Sarah isn't influencing you in a bad way, then there is nothing wrong and if this does ever happens I think it will become obvious to you. You sound mature enough not to be influenced if she was to ever try.
You dad trailing around after you when you do see her can't be fun for any of you but maybe you can compeise on this with you parents in the future? Get some trust going.
You sound like a good friend, keep helping/listening to her, your friendship seems important to you both