Marriage is on rocky ground... advice please
My husband and I have 3 beautiful children (aged 8, 6 and 4 years of age). We have always had a bit of a tumultuous up and down type relationship but usually work things out. We are both eldest children in our families and both quite stubborn. Anyway, he just doesn't seem to love and accept me for who I am. I am a huge animal lover and I had 3 dogs when we met and were dating. I have recently become the owner of just the one elderly dog now and he has been quite sick. I recently bought a new puppy and the kids and I are completely besotted with him. However, my husband was very angry with me and has since barely spoken to me and has slept in a different room for the last three nights. I feel he is being childish, selfish and completely over-reacted. I am disappointed in his reaction and the example he is setting to our children. I also don't understand how anyone could not fall instantly in love with our puppy as he is just adorable. Why can't he pull his finger out and be happy just because the kids and I are happy? Why can't he love and enjoy the puppy as well? I was hoping he would surprise me and like the puppy, so the kids and I have been disappointed at his reaction. Also, 2 years ago I became pregnant by surprise and was extremely happy, although he was not, and I miscarried anyway. But when I told him I wanted to try for one last baby he said no and would not budge or compromise at all. It is his way or NO way. I had been suffering depression and anxiety over the Christmas period because I have been a SAHM for the last 8 years and my baby was heading off to 4 yr old kindergarten this year and I would have no baby or toddler left at home to care for. So this was partly why I got the puppy as well. Yet he cannot and does not understand any of this. What do I do?
The fact that you didn't tell your husband about bringing home this puppy says something about your marriage. Really, it would have been best to discuss it first, because getting a new puppy while cariing for a sick dog, home and kids is a major endeavor.
You say he does not understand "any of this."
Time for marriage counseling ASAP. Good luck.
It’s great that you are able to share the situations you are facing at home. Had you and your husband considered a counseling together? It's so nice to have a third-party person with an expert opinion point out where either of you are going wrong, and help you correct those behaviors and find common ground. My prayers are with you. Hugs!