Falling in love with your best friend..
For more than a year now, I fell in love with my best friend who is a girl but she is taken by someone else. I would always feel jealous and bitter when she talks about him. But she would always lead me on and give me signals that she likes me also, which she doesn't. I would ask her personally how she feels about me but I feel that it would be too painful for me too handle it. I really don't want to lose our friendship but at this point, I feel like i have too. She is the source of my happiness but also the source of my pain. I have never felt this way towards a girl before, there is something about her personality and the way how she understands me makes me happy. But everyday, I would feel feel heartbroken because I can't have her... At this point, I don't know what to do, should I give up being friends with her and move on?
Hi, i apologize in advance for being frank, but seems like youre dealing with a girl who is keeping you as the rebound guy or the friend zone guy. I know because ive been that girl before. Id keep a guy almost as my "back up" when i was mad at my bf, and hed make me feel better, ill like the guy but what stopped me were his looks. He was the perfect guy, just not for me, which is why he was good to have around, because he made me feel better at the end of the day. Whats sad and sort of shameful now that i think about it is that i used to NOT want to loose him because Id feel lonely, when i had already had my bf. I just craved having that back up guy to keep me happy, when he didnt reply his messages sometimes id get jealus which is bad because i nod no right to do so(but i didnt know that then). So id basically 'run' to his arms when i didnt get his attention, specialy when my bf and i were fighting.
I knew the bf wasnt the one and he wouldnt treat me as good as i wanted, but i didnt want to be alone either so i kept my 'friend zoned' guy.
After feeling bad for him i finaly told him that he deserved someone better and hw shouldnt wait for me. I also told him id break his heart because we're simply not a match. HE INSISTED that we stay close friends but that only hurt him more. So i told him to cut me off completely because i wasnt interested. After a while of not talking every day back to back he slowly started detaching from me. I made sure he wasnt going through withdrawals or anything because i talked to his sister all the time and checked himtl through her without him knowing. He was sad at first, but got through it when he started focusing on himself and playing soccer.
So i guess what i advice you to do is focus on yourself... Slowly let her go as a lover and see her as a friend. Id start with not talkinh her as often, shes probably gonna wonder why youre doing that, but youre doing nothing wrong. If she gets butt hurt, shes obviously not good for you. If she runs after you, resist. Please do focus on yourself by making hobbies, put your headphones on loud and listen to music that makes you think and think and think. Youll feel better after letting her go