Am I overreacting or is my dad manipulative
I am looking for some help and advice I guess.
I'm scared that this is all in my head and I'm being ungrateful and disrespectful. Basically my Dad is weird, like he's not physically abusive to me and only laid a hand on my brother a few times when we were younger as normal discipline.
But he does this thing and it's like he makes me feel guilty for everything. I used to think it was my fault and I must be over reacting or doing something wrong. It's like say for example I make pasta for dinner hell come in and say something like "oh I thought we were having chicken".(Even though no arrangement was made) So ill apologise and say it's just pasta then he'll apologise in a way where it's so dramatic and it's really angry and almost sarcastic, but it isn't.
He'll make a huge point about how he just thought different and how it's not chicken like he thought and he's sorry. Then say its not a big deal, after all that fuss. So to move conversation on I'll say either ok, then he'll sigh a lot usually shaking his head or with it in his hands, or I'll say I'll cook chicken another night and he'll apologise the same way again saying I don't have to and he just thought and he's sorry.
The only time I've ever seen anyone quiet the same was Norma in Bates motel if that helps you visualise it.
He also does it to my Mom in front of me usually about the most trivial things like her clothes or plans after work or anything really.
I'm struggling to keep my mouth shut. I know it's there relationship and he's my Father so I should respect him.
Am I an awful person for thinking this? I mean he's not a bad man he's done so many things for us which he always reminds us about if we ever ask about his behaviour. I'm just so confused and starting to think this isn't normal. Should I say something? Part of me desperately wants to believe he's oblivious to how he makes me feel because then it's like he knows he's hurting me and doing it for that reason....
Trust your feelings. There's an odd dynamic here and I'm not a psychiatrist but yes, he has problems. Throwing everything akilter as he does, pfft. I hope you can learn to shrug it off and not play into feeling responsible for his ploys and guilt. It'll take a lot of strength.
I feel for you. He would make me have stomach pains, I couldn't deal with it myself. Distressing and I wish I had better advice. Get away when you can, financially and emotionally. It wears you out, the games.
Hugs to you -
Passive agressive perhaps... making u feel guilty is something they love. Going on and on about it. Pleasing them is not possible and if u think u have ....often u find out later they still were not happy. Be strong. Try not to let his emotions effect your life. Don't be sucked into his ways of trying to have u feel guilty over every small thing. I wish u great strength.. harder when u love them. And he is your dad.