What should I do?
My husband is a great guy and very kind and people like to confide in him. It becomes a problem to me though, when unmarried women go to confide in him. He doesn't want to be mean or cause them problems by not listening but I feel like it crosses a line somehow. Just recently a mutual friend was on Skype with him and some other people and after everyone was in bed she messaged him about how she was having nightmares about a sexual assault in the past and she kept him up really late. The next morning he was very tired and I told him that she should talk to me or someone else and he said I should make time to hang out with her. I don't think it is my responsibility to make sure she doesn't go to him.
This morning I messaged her and asked how she was and mentioned that she should have messaged me when we talked but she said it didn't become an issue until bedtime. I don't know what to say to her without making people angry. SHe in the past was a little touchy with him and he stopped that, but I don't like the emotional connection.
Don't worry about making people angry. Emotional connections often lead to a sexual relationship so you are validated in your concerns. With that being said, your husband should not have any kind of 'intimate' relationship with anyone but you whether it be sexual or emotional.
You can have friendships but there are healthy boundaries to those relationships. If you feel uncomfortable you should communicate your feelings and ask him to create boundaries with her. If he respects your relationship and marriage he will. If he gives excuses, I would dig deeper into the situation. If its really nothing more than friendship, he should have no problem whatsoever creating those boundaries.
How should i approach him about it? I don't want to make him sound like a bad guy because he is very sweet and a great dad but he doesn't understand my concerns about this and gets frustrated and thinks I'm jealous or that i don't trust him
How to go about it: simply tell him how you feel. Literally. Its hard i know. Its a little embarrassing and maybe challenging. But what will happen when you open your heart to him in that aspect will change the way you two communicate.
I do this with my hubby. I ised to keep my feelings in and once i told him how i felt about him being friendly with women he understood better. Because that was the problem, he was just being friendly in his mind, but in reality the other girl would get another idea and flirt while he has no idea what shes doing.
So tell him how you feel and tell him theres limits on how and when to communicate with someone of the opposite sex. Tell him that you as a woman know how women react to men. You better than anyone else know him, so sugar coat your words in the way hell understand that youre disturbed with this issue