Why can't I get it together?
Hi, I'm 27years old. Last month I was the survivor of a robbery/abduction. I have NEVER been a situation like that before, I've heard stories, read books seen movies but experiencing it is a whole other level. I was on the phone while it happened so apart from being traumatised I am connected to someone else because of it as well. I haven't been out to work since and I really can't afford to stay home. I keep waiting for it to stop bother me but I keep getting flashbacks. I am paranoid, jumpy, withdrawn. Three days after it happened I called my sister/best friend to tell her and I froze. I changed my mind and hung up. Two days later she called me and I told her, a very brief and senored version of what happen. I know I need counselling but before this incident I was extremely independent, self sufficient and resilient. I hate the thought of being in public, I work in a public setting. At work I mostly kept to myself and spoke to a handful of coworkers. I haven't been on social media since. Also as they stole all my belongins I feel extra vulnerable. Years of family photos, videos. Personal data. I had security apps on almost everything but there are ways around that... I begin to feel the onset of a panic attack when I think about the extent of it. My family, myself. I don't know who are involved so everyone is a possible danger. I know it sounds crazy but I don't want this be the end of my story. I don't want this make me stop living. And I am always on the bring of tears when I think about it. I rarely ever used to cry!
I have withdrawn completely into myself. I interact daily with my immediate family but things with them have deteriorated, I overheard a conversation about me and it was another hit. Added to it all, I have two children under the age of 5. Their dad and I have been separated nearly a year now but we are working things out. He's the person I was on the phone with when it happened and it has bonded us even more. He has asked me to confide in him, it was a reaccuring problem, I couldn't talk to him he would get impatient and hurtful, used to throw things back in my face and I hate that. Don't ask me to confide and turn around and attack me. But he has consistently improved. And I have been confiding in him. I guess I am feeling like my life is overcomplicated and I need a safe place to off load.
I know you've been traumatized by this incident the robbery and abduction. Looks like it's drawn you and your husband or boyfriend closer together. Sometimes separation does a relationship good it puts things in perspective Keep talking to him maybe he can pull you through this.
Wow! I can only imagine what you are going through. I would be traumatized, paranoid, and jumpy too! I am sure that you would like to put this painful event in the past and be able to move on in confidence in your future. Did you report this robbery/abduction to the police? Have you taken other safety measures to prevent further theft or identity loss? I think that your desire to have some counseling is a very good and needed idea.
If you are in the US I would suggest using the Counseling Line at Focus on the Family at http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/emotional-health/counseling-services-and-referrals.
Their PHONE Number is: 1-855-771-HELP. They offer the first phone call free to discuss and assess and then make a referral for follow-up care based on your conversation. For someone who is independent, self-sufficient and resilient to withdraw completely into yourself must be foreign to you. I am glad that you have those around you who love you to confide in, even if sometimes they let us down by saying things that may hurt us. You might also wish to check out a great video on Anxiety. You can watch it at http://thred.org/video/anxiety-lindseys-story/.
I will say a prayer for you! Hope this helps!
Thank you. I reported the incident to the police as soon as I was able to. That was an event in itself. Rude, inconsiderate, impatient. It was deplorable. On the up side, I felt so guilty reaching out to others like this I spoke to him some more about it still affecting me and all that comes with it. It helped. He admitted he's traumatized by it as well. Always worries when I'm not with him. He suggested that while talking can help in my situation he thinks self defence classes will be the best option for me. And I have to agree. I think it will start to make me feel more confident when I'm out and about. Thank you for your advice!