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Betrayed by family

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Relationship advice Hello everyone. This is going to be a little long. But I hope you can hang in there with the reading and help me as much as you can.

To start I am the oldest in family of 7 children. 4 boys and 3 girls. Me and one of my brothers 24 years old(he is handicapped), and 2 sisters still live at home(one is fine, the other is autistic), both younger then 16.

In 2013 I got my gf over here to the united states from Taiwan. We were together for a couple of years with a long distance relationship. The issues started when she came over here for the first time. My family knew of her for some time, we used face time and skype to keep in touch, and would often interact with my family very pleasantly. At the time, I had a temp job, and I was in the National guard. So I had some income, but I was a full time student, so it was difficult. This is why I am staying with my parents for a short tie to pay for the documents. Anyways, using a visa she came over here, we had 90 days to get married. However not even two months went by when she did finally come over here that my mother was cornering her and telling her lies. Such as that I apparently do not love her, or I ignore her. This is of course not the case.

It did not end here either. Being in the Guard means that on certain weekends I am required to leave for a short duration of 3 days. Since my fiancé was growing a little afraid of how my mother was acting, she often kept herself locked in our room when I was not home. I was not made aware of this until one day I called the house, and was told she hasn’t come out. Of course I ask my fiancé, and apparently my parents have not been inviting her to eat dinner, or they would do so that she was not aware that there was a dinner. This made me very angry. I also had an autistic little sister, who would throw tantrums if she wasn’t given what she wanted. This of course is not her fault, she was born this way, and of course we know how to deal with her. But sometimes my finance would be screamed at by my mother for talking to her. I have witnessed once that my autistic little sister threw a glass cup at my fiancé, and it shattered near her feat. Instead of asking if my fiancé was ok, my mother started yelling at my fiancé for purposely making her throw the cup.


well, like I mentioned earlier, I have a bother who is handicapped, he also needs to have nurses come by the house. My mother has them divided by whispering secrets to them about each other when they are all on different shifts. I have caught this happening multiple times, and so has my wife. My wife did however make friends with one of the nurses who was an older lady and was very sweet. However, maybe by coincidence, she was fired and we were not told why.
Things like this happened over and over. It became so bad that we wouldn’t come out of our room, because it always meant that we were going to fight. Well, it came time to have our wedding and her family came over for the wedding and everything went smoothly despite all of the issues. We started to slowly get over everything, but we still were saving and searching to move out. In 2014, I had to go away for 2 weeks for Annual training that the guard does once a year. My wife had to stay behind for two weeks. I told my folks they better feed her, even if she is too shy to ask for food. She is family, my wife, and she is to be included. (why I even have to ask is beyond me!). While I was away, my wife was with my family while they got new kittens for pets. During this time, my brother touched my wife’s chest aggressively. This caused much trauma to my wife, and she locked herself into her room. I get a phone call during this time while I’m away for two weeks, and my parents are making it all out to be that nothing really happened and that my wife should stop being so hysterical. At this point I was so pissed I couldn’t see anything but red. After all the abuse my wife had to endure while I had to be gone, now this happen. So, to get her out of there I paid for her ticket to her closest family relative in Georgia. I had a friend pick her up and she was gone that evening.

While she was there, my wife told me my mother approached her, and told her that my brother did it because he has never had a girlfriend before, and he was curious. That is complete bu** shi*. And instead of taking care of my now traumatized wife, she told her not to tell the nurses because she could get in trouble. So after hearing this story, I get back from the army, and find baby monitors all over the house. Apparently my mother put them up to make sure my wife wouldn’t say anything to the nurses. I also find an E-mail to our priest, that lied about the whole situation. They had already come up with a cover story, that my wife is crazy and the event didn’t actually happen. My siblings are not any better. They believe the cover story that my parents came up with (well all but one sister who is not speaking to my parents for obvious reasons at this point). So, when I get home, I get a hold of one of the rental places for us to stay at, and use our savings to pay for a U-haul and leave as soon as we can to get out of the house. Of course I get into a fight with my parents, and I tell them that if they had any respect for me they would not have treated my wife this way. This was the last thing I spoke to my family. After that we moved away and never gave them our address.

We haven’t spoken to them since. We don’t want any contact with them. My wife is absolutely afraid of them, which she should be. I never thought my family was capable of such things. They called my wife crazy, said she made it all up. Well fast forward to Sep 2016, We get a phone call from my brother, who is looking for me (we didn’t give anyone our home number). My wife answered by mistake not knowing it was my family. She told them we do not wish to make contact, and goodbye. They did not get the hint however, and Jan 2017,one of my brothers came to our house while I was at work, and started banging on the front door violently. We have proof of this because we got video surveillance for this very reason. Of course my wife is petrified and calls the police.

They leave before they show up, and we file a report. He didn’t say what he wanted, he just came then left. Then the next day two of my brothers show up claiming my handicapped brother is in the hospital, dying. OF course they know my email address, if this was such an important message they wouldn’t have come banging on our door, threatening us (yes! They threatened us to open the door!) and said our whole family knows where we live now. Of course I dial 911 as soon as possible. The police then contacted them, and told them to not bother us ever again.
However….we are now going to file a restraining order on my brothers, and anyone else necessary. Is there anything else we can do? My wife and I have been through a lot more than I saying, because I could write a book with everything they tried to pull.





Thank you for reading....I know this is a huge read. this is actually the condensed version. Please let me know what else I can try.

Betrayed by family

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What is holding you to the area in which you live?

Move as far away as possible.

Betrayed by family

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Unfortunately, i am not able to move due to being in the guard. i need to be able to get to my armory....so untill my contract is up, this is what ive been able to do.

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