Confused and emotionally hurt
Yesterday, my mother found out my father was “thinking” about cheating on her. She found receipts with a card number she didn’t recognize and confronted him. He admitted he had a side bank account and had gotten a second phone.
I’m as heartbroken as she is now. I never thought the man I called Dad would do something like this. He claims he hadn’t done anything, yet the phone receipt is two months old. If he lied to us for two months, how can we trust anything he says now? All the trips he took for work, all the days he worked late…the worst thoughts are coming to my mind even though he’s assuring us that nothing has happened.
Worst yet, my dad is now trying to act happy and like everything is okay now that it’s out in the open. My mom is playing along, but it’s tearing me apart to see them pushing the topic aside. How can you even think about acting even slightly unfazed when the person you trusted for so many years thought, even for a brief moment, of betraying you?
Perhaps I’m being extremely negative, but I just can’t see him in the same light. How do I know he won’t try something again behind our backs? He may promise us, but maybe next time he’ll just be more careful not to slip up and accidentally have the truth exposed.
I’m worried for my mom, for our family. I’m confused about how to act. If she’s still talking to him, should I do the same? I’m hurt. I don’t want him to think his apologies solved the problem. They didn’t. And now I’m wondering if he’s actually sorry, or just sorry that he got caught? I don’t know if he’s telling the truth anymore.
This is probably more of a rambling post than asking for advice but I just needed to get my feelings out somewhere.
Respectfully, it's none of your business what your parents do or if your Dad had an affair or is even thinking of having one. Stay out of their married life and let them work it out. If they have decided to push the topic aside, then so be it. Your best bet it to have a heart to heart with your Dad, if you haven't done so already, and explain how and why you feel this way.
When it's all said and done, if you feel you need to carry some the baggage which ultimately belongs to them, then you will need to get yourself some counseling because the longer you hold onto it, the more unhealthy it will become.