Is my husband gay?
I am a newlywed. My husband and I have been married for less than a year and I just found out that he has been using household items including vegetables to masturbate with analy. He has pretty much lied to me our entire marriage about other women, working, online dating websites, porn, and now this. He lies about everything but I love him and he recently wanted to show me he has "changed" and has decided to be honest about everything he has lied about, none of wich was actual physical cheating, but this is how we got here to the vegetable thing. Does this mean he may be bi? I already knew that he liked this stuff during sex but then he just kind of stopped wanting sex as much and has been taking carrots, cucumbers, and bananas and stuff to the bathroom when I'm outside or busy and throwing them away before I catch him. What do I do here? I'm completely lost!!!
I'm so sorry your marriage is off to a rocky start.
Honestly, it's hard to tell whether he's bi, gay or straight from your description. Some straight men like butt stuff, some don't. I'd base my (best guess) on his sexuality based on how he reacts to you.
Ah, but then you said that he's not wanting sex as much. (How much? Could there be another reason?)
Honestly, I'd probably just ask him about it. Not confrontationally, but more of a, "you used to want sex all the time, now you don't, what's up?" kind of thing.
(Also, as far as the vegetables go, I find the whole thing...not great. First of all, he shouldn't feel like he needs to hide his stuff. Either it's okay within the bonds of your marriage or it's not. Second, if it is okay - and my gut feeling would be to say it's weird, but not really harmful - it's a LOT better to use a toy made for that. Vegetables can get, ahem, lodged up there and lead to some pretty nasty problems.)
Your husband likes anal stimulation during sex. Not unusual or weird. It does not mean he is gay or bi.
But hes not sharing this with you perhaps because he picks up a "shame" from you about his fettish.
Cosider counseling so that everyone is able to talk openly about whats going on. Then you both can decide if this is something you can accept or move on.
It sounds like there's a lot of other problems, not just this. I wonder why you say you love someone whose lied to you the entire time? Major counseling might help. Good luck-!!