Help for unrequited love??
Please help me with my silly problem.
About 5 months ago, I asked out a boy I liked and he turned me down, not citing a specific reason. But since then, I've found myself getting more and more crazy about him. I love being around him so much. Since he turned me down, I've refrained from bringing it up again to not bother him. I've never felt this strongly about someone, not even my ex when I was dating him. I've liked him like this unwavering for 7 months.
But I feel like I should say something if I feel this way, but I'm not sure what to do. I've never felt this way before and I know I need closure before June, but I'm not sure I'm ready to break my heart again.
Any suggestions on what to do? I can't just do nothing.
you asked him. He turned you down. I'm sorry but that's your answer.
I know that it *really* sucks to have your love unrequited. *Really* sucks. But it happens to us all.
My best advice is to give it some distance. (It sounds like that will come anyway, but give it more.) Stop seeing him, stop interacting with him, and do your best to stop thinking of him.
Yes, yes, it *sucks*. But you can't make him love you and he's already said "no".
I think SILVIAGIRL makes a good point. Sometimes we have these expectations or fantasies of people that remain just that, and the other person never wants to meet you halfway. It sucks, but that's usually how it is. I know I spent over a year pursuing this one girl, but every time I'd make a move she would shoot me down...so I would try to move onto someone else. ...And that wouldn't work out, and then the girl would do something that would make me think maybe she did feel something for me, and it just kept going around and around like a vicious circle. At some point, you just have to find some way to take control of your destiny. Find someone else that makes you happy, since this person always ends up bringing you constant disappointment. (I still don't know if I'm over her.)
...On the other hand, I believe hearts can change, and grow. Maybe this boy can or does feel something for you. The problem is, you really don't have any information to go on.
Sometimes you have to play private eye a little bit. You have to be a reporter, and go get the real story. People don't always say what they feel, or sometimes their opinions change over time. The problem is, you are giving this obsession you have over him a whole lot of power, and it's eating you up - because you don't know the reasons why he turned you down. Why doesn't he like you? Why doesn't he want to take a chance and live and experience all of the love you have to offer? It's up to you to make an effort to try to find better answers to your questions, even though the ones you get might only be slightly better than the ones you currently have to work with.
Why do you need closure before June, might I ask?
LIV8967, I think you should try that second approach. If it feels like this guy is worth the pursuit, then it's worth the disappointment to at least get closure. At least then, if your chances with him are really done, you can take comfort in knowing there are millions of other men in this world who you could possibly fall in love with.