What do I do with my life?
This is going to be long...
So, hello everyone reading my cry for help. I am about to graduate from highschool and I want to go to a university abroad because If I stay in my country to study, I will be stuck in this piece of sh!t for the next 10 years probably, and I dont want that. The thing is every programme requires a high GPA which I do not have. Especially International (Global or whatever else you like to call it) Law, which is pretty much the only thing I am interested in. I have spent hours on researching different programs and everything else seems so boring and uninteresting... in one word - garbage (sorry if I am offending someone for their choice, but that is my PERSONAL opinion). But due to me not being a really good student in highschool and the high requirements of universities, I know I will not be accepted anywhere. My question is what do I do from now on? Do I just not study and become a sheep working for minimum wage in a sh*tty country? Or do I apply for something I do not like and regret my choice for the rest of my miserable life? What do I do honestly? Right now I am literally crying, panicked and confused about the future that awaits me. They never taught anything useful about life in school. I had no one to teach me something that would actually be valuable. The whole system in the world is so rigged... We live one life but yet, we do not get to live it properly. We live to work in this twisted world, but aren't we supposed to work so we can live? If someone would give me an advice, it would be more precious than gems for me. I am seriously lost in life. Someone help me, please!
P.S. Again I am terribly sorry if i have offended anyone with this. I am also sorry for having to show this gross side of mine publicly, but I am extremely desperate and confused right now.
You could apply to something that doesn't really interest you and use this as a stepping stone to get good grades and then change into the program of your choice later on. Yes, it's not fun to study something that doesn't really interest you, but the thing is that you're young and inexperienced - you don't even know if law is something you will actually like. The best thing you can do is try different things.
I came out of high school top of my class with a passion for mathematics. Applied to one of the top universities in the country, got in. After a year of math, I had to take a semester off because I hated what I was doing and I felt lost. During my semester off, I thought about what I liked. I was always into computers so I did a year of computer science. Again, it didn't really do anything for me. I then switched to psychology, which I loved - I've always loved helping people, and I felt in my heart that I wanted to be a counsellor. After 6 years of being in uni, I finally got my bachelor's degree in psych. And you know what happened after that? I volunteered for some organizations as a counsellor and found out that I wasn't cut out for it. So I felt like I had done 6 years of uni in 3 different subjects for absolutley no reason.
Where am I now? Plot twist: working as a paralegal! I never EVER wanted to go into law. It didn't interest me in the slightest. But I was off for a year, hunting for jobs, applying to places I thought I wanted to work for and never getting job offers. But then a small law firm found my CV on monster.ca and called me up. I wasn't even going to go to the interview at first, because I was like "no way, I don't even like law, this won't lead anywhere". But my partner told me why not go? What is there to lose? So I went just for the hell of it, thinking nothing would come of it anyway. But here I am, having accepted the job back then and still working for the same place.
Life isn't something that you can plan. I tried. I tried to listen to myself, I tried to "follow my heart" as they say, and it failed me every time. I'm actually really happy in the job I'm in right now. And it's funny because if they had never reached out to me, I would never have applied for the position.
All you can do is take steps going forward. What you do may be useful, it may not be. But whatever you do, you ALWAYS have to try your best. Don't stop studying now just because you don't know if it will lead somewhere. The truth is that you don't know that it WON'T lead you somewhere. You just have to try.
Also, please don't be so harsh on yourself. It's very, VERY rare to know what you want to do in life, to plan out your path, to follow it, and to have it turn out exactly as you planned. It almost never happens that way. My path was so messed up, yet I feel like it all happened for a reason. I'm using parts of math, comp sci, and psych in a job that I never would have even considered on my own.
So cheer up and tell yourself that you're going to do the best you can. If you're faced with many paths and can't decide, just pick one and see where it leads you. Maybe it won't be the right one, but you know what? That's absolutely okay. You don't have to pick the right path all the time. You don't have to have all the answers right away. And you know what? Sometimes the wrong path will end up leading to the right one down the road.
I hope you feel better. Good luck!