Is she having an affair
My wife has recently started using facebook and has contacted old friends including ex boyfriends she has attended school reunions and meet up with these people. I am normally very trusting but recently we have gone through some tough times and she has been messaging this old boyfriend regularly I have seen some of the messages and they were quite flirty. My wife is not very computer literate but recently I saw a search on how to delete face book messages.Since the reunions she has lost two stones in weight and has become more focused on her appearance.She is attending another reunion soon.Should I be concerned or am I overreact ing.
Your not overreacting. You are very worried about your marriage. It is time to seek a marriage counselor around your area. And talk to your wife and see what is going on. Then if it doesn't work out then just ask God for guidance.
I'd be concerned also as what you've mentioned sends up red flags. Get to a marriage counselor fast. Good luck-!!
Hey man, I've been in a somewhat similar situation. This is my first ever post on this site, but I feel like what you're going through is so similar to what I went/am going through that I felt like I needed to comment..
I am no therapist, and no disrespect intended to the above comments, but I think that seeking out counseling can be a very broad, band-aid/cure-all statement. A lot easier said than done to get both parties to agree upon and go through with that.
That being said, talk to her. Like I said, easier said than done... Plan out how you're going to bring it up (assuming you haven't yet) Definitely don't go into it with a finger pointing attitude, as it will only start an argument. Go into it with the "Stay Trusting" attitude that you have. Best case scenario, she'll tell you that it means nothing, that she is only curious about her ex. Many people merely get curious about where people from their past are now. Maybe tell her that seeing her doing what she's doing makes you think that she doubts what you two have together, that you dont want her to wonder "what might have been". You want to start writing your own "happily ever after". (Sounds cheesy, I know)
On your end, make sure you're doing things that reinforce your love for her. (leaving random one-line love notes in a few of her drawers, mail a fun card to her, etc. Humor that only the two of you will understand is a big plus) Chivalry gets lost this day and age, make sure you show her how much you're in love with her, and make sure you do it daily. Not smothering/stalker style, but enough to where she knows that she's on your mind in a positive way.
I hope this helps, best of luck to you!
Are you feeling suspicious because of those "rough times" you mentioned?
Why don't you just ask her about these messages to her former friend?