Advice needed on this matter
I’ve been with my partner for 3 years last summer she made the mistake of sleeping with someone else while working at sea to which she confessed to me in jan this year some 5 months later in between this period in sept I visited her for a stay in Spain where she was placed in a ship yard working to where she was raped by a worker but there was a story behind it to that she invited him ack to her cabin for communal sex but in the morning he raped her when she refused more sex so I guess she cheated twice and got raped.
Now 3 weeks ago I said shall I come and visit you for a few days because I hadn’t seen her since November 8th as she was working at sea again. To which she told me don’t I dare come over to visit when there is only 6 weeks left to which I then said why and she then said just **** off and I said your cheating which was my first thought given the past….
So at this point she breaks off the relationship knowing I have bought a engagement ring and was about to propose in April this year. So to make this simple I’ve begged and begged for 3 weeks so fare all to nothing other then we are over I don’t want to be with you etc etc. this has gone on for 3 weeks nearly I asked did she love me did she miss me and can she forgive me all she said yes to apart from forgive me for name calling her a cheat and a lier.
So she said the other day I don’t want to talk to you for my last 4 weeks but ill message when I get home if you want me to and she also said if you want to meet for coffee we can but just because we are meeting doesn’t mean we are going to sort this I can’t be with you and I don’t want to be.
she's said she doesn't want to talk to me for 4 weeks but when she is home she will talk to me and meet for coffee but I shouldn't take it that this means we will get back together
What can be the problem and what can I do ??
Its been constant me begging for the first 2 weeks then I stopped and then she said I won't text you or message you know for 4 weeks until im home and that was 13 days ago then out of the blue she texts me at midnight saying this
Look, stop messaging me, stop emailing me, stop contacting my friends. I've told you I don't want to be with you and I don't want to speak to you, that is my choice. If you carry on I will contact the police, this is harassment! Stop now, I don't ever want to see you again.
this was all because I contact one of her friends that I thought was my friend to to ask could he help me what do you guys think ??? as much input as possible would be great please she's due home in 9 days for 3 weeks you think she will get bored and contact me when she's home to have more fun with my heartbreak
Just calm down and try to work something out it must be hard but just break up move on use WikiHow to search up ways to move on its really simple and sell the ring and buy something nice for yourself.
Regardless of how she arrived at the situation... she was raped. Her life changed at that moment and how she looks at the world changed as well. She has a lot to deal with and, without therapy, she may never really resolve that experience in a way that will allow her to move on. Seeing or being with you may remind her of that time and moment in her life.
The smartest thing you can do for you own well being is to move on. I can imagine that will be quite difficult and you have every right to have strong feelings about this situation, but she and you have a right to say "no" and to try to push your way in...even through mutual friends...will only increase her feelings of helplessness and loss of control. You need to be strong and give her the space to heal... even if that means you don't ever have her in your life again.