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Wants cake and eat it too

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Relationship advice There are many more details to this problem, including legal issues, and relationship, but here is the Reader's Digest version ...

Partner A is filing for divorce after 26 years, and may legally claim 90% of assets. Partner A always ensured Partner B that the Assets were "ours." 10% of assets are community property.

Partner A did not work the last 20 years in order to raise our children, who are out of the house now. There was no infidelity or abuse in the relationship.

Partner A's reason for divorce is irreconcilable differences. Partner A just wants to be on his/her own.

Partner A did not offer separation, or counseling; but instead handed divorce papers to Partner B.

Partner B has worked for the past 26 years. Partner B was a loving, good spouse and heavily involved parent. Partner B made financial decisions believing that the Assets were "ours." Parnter B will likely be stuck with a 28 year mortgage at 54 years old. Partner B's retirement is only 3% of all assets.

Partner A is offering a 94 / 6 split settlement. (Partner A would get 94% of all assets).

The only question I have is ... Using the court of Public Opinion, what Percentage would you offer?


Wants cake and eat it too

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And may I ask, what enabled Partner A to "not work" in order to raise your kids? Did you not rely on Partner B's salary for 20 years? Seems like a pretty mean thing to leave them with only 6% if they were truly a loving, good spouse and heavily involved parent like you said.

Put yourself in Partner B's shoes. If you had worked for the past 20 years to support Partner A while Partner A didn't work at all, and Partner A now handed you a request for a divorce and offered you 6%, how would you feel?

If you want to be fair and go with that route, I would say offer them 6% of the assets but also calculate 50% of all the costs they paid to enable you to raise your children without having to work (an opportunity that very, very few people can afford these days, one that I can only wish I could have myself) and give it to them.

Wants cake and eat it too

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I don't know where you live, but in the US, many divorce cases honor the 50/50 community property split - unless there is a pre-nuptual agreement.

Who says raising kids in not work and worth a lot more than 10% - while the other partner is free to work and earn money that benefits the entire family.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?