I have been best friends with a guy since 4 years. We understand each other completely even the unspoken things. There was a time when I started having feelings for him but he didnot. I got over him. But later he developed feelings and is unable to move on.
The thing which makes our friendship complicated is that we kept sexting on and off. When my conscience gets in between, we stop it. I feel its wrong but still find myself unable to stop sometimes. I loved someone else but we broke up about two months ago. I still love him
Now my best friend says he is not good for me. And at every mention of him, he gets angry. And then we fight. Today I called my ex to settle things once and for all but whe my best friend got to know, he got angry and sort of broke up.
What should I do?
Your best friends opinion is biased if he still hasn't 'got over' you. Any other guy you date in the future (or you may get back with your ex, as you still love him), will be no good for you in his eyes because he hasn't moved on from you. Your choice is to remain friends with your bestie and put up with his manipulation and anger or set yourself boundaries and cut him off completely. It's no good having a best friend who is in love with you and therefore dictates your personal life to the extent of where your actions (sexting) go against your values and morals.
You need to decide once and for all what kind of relationship you want with him. When you give him any sort of hope to hold onto (sexting or even something simple like touching him in an non-sexual way), he's going to take it as there is a chance of something more. If you don't want a romantic relationship then you need to give him space to move on. Maybe one day you can be friends again, but not until you are both in it just for friendship.
I agree. You are giving him mixed messages. Thats not fair to him.
I stated him clearly to move on and that I don't have feelings for him. Also I am being careful in our conversations that I don't give him any signs of encouragement.
But I can't loose his friendship. He has always been my support, the encouraging voice to move on in difficult times. And right now, he is the only one who really knows me completely and understands every bit of me.
Parting ways with him is just not possible 'cuz we have fought a lot of times like we will never get back together but still we come back to each other no matter what we said earlier.
"I stated him clearly to move on and that I don't have feelings for him"
But you DO!! Re-read you own posts!
or - you are using him for your sexting fun.
Why aren't you sexting your BF?
We stopped this quite some time back. Now m careful in our conversations.
After that I had a relation and broke up 2 months ago. I haven't moved on. And my best friend knows everything. But he thinks that guy was lying to me about something.
No matter what I say to him, he is not discouraged from his feelings. Especially after my break up. I don't want any feelings or any relation with anyone. He knows everything. He is not forcing me but sometimes I find it difficult to cope with his increasing feelings.