Need advice on how to handle a friend revealing some deep thoughts
Hi, I'm like so lost - I needed a place to get some advice so I have no idea if this is right place to do so but here's where I need help:
Last night, I had a really good friend text me asking if I was up. Mind you its like midnight so I'm not really paying attention to my phone so I didn't see the text until like 40 minutes later or so, so I responded 'yes' and wondering if they were still up too. So I immediately got a text back from my friend saying something along the lines of:
"I'm not going to talk to you or anyone else because I need to figure myself out and might go see a psychologist" I was confused since this is like so out of the blue - so I genuinely thought this was an April Fools joke because earlier in the day my friend said something about pranking me in regards to something else so this was fresh in my mind. So I replied back "april fools" but then my friend sent another text saying they have suicidal thoughts often - something they keep hidden" So at this point I'm really confused b/c this is some heavy stuff to be saying right now. And I'm asking are you serious and my friend just says I'm going to disconnect , I'm done, I'll be ok but I need to get something for this pain:
Like I'm still skeptical to an extent and was like I hope you're not messing with me and I'm still trying to see if my friend is being completely serious. At the same time my phone's battery is low so I'm trying to get as much info out of them as I can. And I say I'll leave my house right now but they say they're fine, they just needed to get this off their chest. The problem is too that we're in separate states so I can't really get up and leave and we haven't seen eachother since graduating college so it's not like we know what's going on in eachother's lives 24/7. At this point I'm at a loss for words but I just reply back saying I'm here, like always, I will listen, you can say whatever you need to say, that I love them but they know that. But I never head back.
This is something I would've never thought. I have no idea how to handle something like this - what to do/say. And I feel like I made it worse since I thought it was a joke at first so I just had no idea how to respond since it caught me completely off guard.
Contact your friend again and keep calling to make sure they're okay. Even call their family. You need to make sure they're okay. You don't know what's fully going on and you don't want them to do something bad, like hurt themselves ;-(
I realize that you getting this response several days after you reached out for help. I pray that both you and your friend are both doing ok at this time. You did the right thing by reaching out for help from a broader community. These are not situations that we find ourselves in under anything resembling normal circumstances. You did a great job reaching out and letting your friend know that you’re there for them no matter what their feeling or thinking at that moment.
No matter what they may feel right now your friend and even you could use help in dealing with what’s going on. There are a number of support groups that are always there 24/7 to listen and help guide you to resources. A couple off the top of my head include: the suicide prevention hotline ( http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)
and a group of friends who’ll listen at http://www.befrienders.org/
both groups will listen and guide you both to help. If your friend won’t reach out them and contact one or both of these groups and get help for your friend. Ultimately it’s up to your friend to agree to accept help. That they reached out to you is a good sign that they want to continue to keep going. God be with you all as work through this situation.