Stuck being sad
RACONTEUR - Apr 7 2017 at 01:32
How to say this?
I am having problems enjoying activities I like doing.
I love to jog. I like the challenge. It makes me feel good, in more than one way. I love proving I can do something others may not see me being able to do. It helps improve my health. I get good attention from others. Most importantly, I have fun.
But, for some reason I don't want to do it.
I like having a clean house. It feels good to see things in order. I get pleasure out of restoring things to a nice orderly state. My wife is happy. I am not so grumpy. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment I get from preforming the tasks necessary to keep a clean home.
But, for some reason I don't want to.
If I sit around the house and watch TV, or read on my phone all day...
I hurt physically. I am grumpy, sleepy, and hate myself. And on top of everything else, it makes my wife sad.
But, for some reason this is what I want to do.
Why is this?
Can anyone relate?
Does anyone have advice?
p.s. let me say that I love my wife and children more than anything in the world, I don't really think that I have a reason to be like this. All things considered, i should be pretty happy.
I don't know if I have a right to say anything, because it might be hypocritical. I've been feeling down lately too, and it's been really hard to get myself to do things, even if it's things I should or would be doing normally. I've seen some therapists about it, so if you think it could help, I might recommend that. One of the therapists I saw diagnosed me with mild depression, which they said wasn't that bad, but it's probably good to heal it now instead of waiting and letting it possibly get worse. I know how hard it can be to find the right therapist, and it really sucks and can bring you down until you do. But it should be worth it if you find someone that works well for you.
I've found that for me, when I force myself not to watch TV for the entire day, or the entire week, I feel better about myself. It makes me feel good to know I have willpower. I've also been trying to limit my phone use, because it can be a huge unnecessary distraction, and it makes me feel awful when I waste a ton of time on it. You could try to challenge yourself to limit your screen use in general or altogether for short chunks of time, and maybe that would be a good start to you feeling better.
Something that really helps is forcing yourself to get out of the house and do something. It could be yard work or gardening if you're into that, or learning a new sport or activity like skateboarding, biking, rollerblading, ice skating or something like that. Or else you can take a class somewhere. I started taking a glassblowing class recently, and I also started swing dancing once a week. It forces me to get out of the house, and even if I don't feel like going, I'm always happy that I did because I have so much fun. Doing something regularly (like weekly) will give you a new hobby to get into and it'll give you something to be excited about during the week. Get creative with your options, and find something that's cool to you!
If you love jogging, then do it. Force yourself to go even if you don't want to. You could make a monthly calendar and fill the days with how long or how far you'll run that day, and then assign a break day every once in a while as a reward for doing so well even though you didn't feel like it. But make sure you don't get into the habit of taking a day off earlier than when you assigned, because it can be hard to get back on track. Also, pick a day this week and clean a section of your house! You know you can do it, and you know you'll feel great about it when you're done, so even if you feel miserable while you're mentally preparing or actually cleaning it, force yourself to do it so that you can feel better about it later!
It's okay to feel down or lazy even if you think you should be happy given the circumstances of your life. It can be really hard to get out of a long-lasting "I don't feel like doing anything" mood. So my advice is the force yourself to do things even if you don't want to. Obviously don't push yourself to your breaking point, and if you're having a really sucky day then give your mind some time to catch up with you, but make sure you try. A little bit every day. Even if it's taking longer than you'd like to feel completely better, give yourself the time you need to get where you want to be.
I wish you the best, good luck :)