Is he cheating or am I overreacting?
AMBOOSE1 - Apr 11 2017 at 19:24
So my husband took a new job traveling for a company while I'm finishing up with school. I recently saw on his internet history that he's been browsing craigslist looking for FWB. When confronted he stated that it was because he was curious and it was an alternative to porn nothing more. Next, I found out that he has an account on the app High There, a marijuana social network. Most of the stuff on there are pending sent friend requests to women, overly flirtatious messages back and fourth, and he talks on his social feed about how he has met more than three people (one being at a hotel). When confronted, he says that the goal of being on this site is to be able to get marijuana from these friends he makes, instead of having to travel with it. He told me he gets lonely and bored and is just looking for companionship while he is traveling, but nothing sexual. I'm trying to be understanding of his feelings, but it's hard to do when he hasn't been upfront with me about it and never thought about mentioning that he is meeting people from a site until I discovered it myself. As a married woman I find issue that 1) My husband is meeting any strange woman from an app 2) Is asking women if they have a man 3) Giving them his personal telephone number 4) He's hid this app for months from me. My question is am I overreacting, or is my cause for concern justified. Should he have the right to still use this app afterwards?
Backstory: We've been married almost eight years, together for ten. I am in nursing school and we have three small children. He is only home about once a month for the weekend. The kids are home with me.
Why did your husband take a job traveling if it results in him getting lonely and bored and is forced to seek companionship by questionable means while concealing the fact from you. It's not only undermining the trust of your marriage, it's also contributing to your insecurity that much that you need to ask others if you're justified when you gut instinct is talking to you.
The biggest issue with absent spouses when they travel frequently for a career is the lifestyle which takes them away from their responsibilities and it eventually isolates them from their loved ones to such an extent that it sometimes morphs them into being 'single' thinking people. Your husband's behavior is bad enough without him hiding it from you because he should understand what his actions are achieving. It's very well for him to be lonely on the road in a chosen career, but it's not all OK to betray you.
As for using the app after you have discovered his use of it, you need to ask yourself how he is justified in using it in the first place.
Thank you for sharing your feelings.
If it helps you be clearer about your thoughts, I would say that you are right for being concerned.
The trouble with using FWB sites is that its a dangerous way to find 'just companionship'. People on those site expect more so meeting anyone from there would innevitably lead to others expecting more from your husband.
There are sites more appropriate for just making friends.