Scared of seeing someone that hates me
Hi. Over 10 years ago I testified against someone in a court case. Ultimately this person did some time for GBH.
Over the years I have occasionally seen this person out when I have been drinking with friends. The has now become a body builder and is huge. This guy has openly said he hates me and on several occasions deliberately followed me around town but never confronted me.
I dont go out much but I have a night out after work tomorrow and I am utterly terrified of seeing this person. I am totally obsessing about it, it's driving me a little crazy, I can't get him out my head.
I am considering not going out in fear I might see him.
If you testified against this guy in court, then you swore on oath to tell the truth regardless if the outcome was that he did time. In other words, you did the right thing and you told it as it was. If he is stalking you around town then it's telling you that he has learned nothing from the past because he is basically threatening you by his actions even if he hasn't confronted you. In some countries, it's called stalking with intent to intimidate and it's a crime. If he was half a man, he would have 'copped whatever was coming to him on the chin' and basically his actions tell you that you're dealing with a coward.
You need to understand that he can't hurt you unless he's stupid enough to physically assault you and he's messing with your head and you're using your fear of him to assist this process. If you can show him that he can't intimidate you, then you're half way there to being confident enough to go through life knowing that you have done the right thing at all times without repercussions.
You shouldn't need to change your lifestyle to accommodate someone else and you need realize that this guy's size has nothing to do with it, rather it's to do with how much courage and spine he has and going by your post, it's not much.
Yep and yep.
Meantime, whichever mates you're going to be out with tomorrow - let them in on the situation and/or (if you're not driving) have a door-to-door taxi to/from pre-booked. I doubt you'll need either safety plan whatsoever, but the point of the exercise is - just HAVING it will increase your senses of confidence and security significantly, which will show should you spot him at any point. Plus it's important to go out, have fun, and see your fears NOT come to fruition.
Repeat a few times before winding down to collection-only taxi and then no taxi. And it's equally important that he see you acting non-bothered because if bullies keep getting zero reaction, even they are programmed to automatically cease any behaviour that proves futile (three times in row might be all it takes).