PeoplesProblems Logo

Military divorce / deployment

Default profile image
Long Distance Relationship advice Me and my wife have been married for 2 years. We do not have any kids together but I have 2 kids with a past gf. There is a whole story in itself on this situation but long story short I don't pay child support and I don't see them. They aren't involved in me and my wife's life.

Me and my wife are extremely happy obviously the occasional argument but nothing serious. She has known about the kids with the ex since way before we became something serious. She was accepting and understanding to the situation. So fast forward and we have been married for a little over a year. As of now she is deployed over seas in Korea. We used to talk all the time but with the time difference sometimes it wasn't as much as we would like. I am also very busy back home.

No more than 2 weeks ago we were perfectly fine and getting excited for her to come home in around 2 months but then she broke her phone and we couldn't talk to each other for around 3 to 4 days. Finally when I get a hold of her and I'm just happy her phone is working and we can talk, she says that she doesn't know how to feel about us and isn't sure if she can ever get over the fact that I have 2 kids with another girl.

This completely takes me by storm because she had accepted it well over 2 years ago. She says she loves me but wants space when she comes back home and I'm lost because she has already had 9 months of space. I think the deployment and distance is really getting to her and I want to be given the chance to respark our flame when she comes home but she doesn't want to. I need help as to how to win her back. It's difficult because I can't see her and I just want to save our marriage I am FULLY committed to her and love her to death.
Any help or advice would be great thank you.

Military divorce / deployment

Default profile image
She'll come back to you when she has the need to, regardless of what you do. If she has stated that she needs space, then you need to give it to her however difficult it will be for you. The distance between you guys has played a part in this and her being away has given her time to realize that she needs to reassess where you guys stand together for whatever reasons. Her excuse of you having two children from a previous relationship is just that, an excuse to justify her reasons particularly when she accepted it over 2 years ago.

Sure, you need to save your marriage but it takes two people to do this, and if your wife doesn't want to cooperate with you when she does return, then you need to realize that you can't make her. She needs to share the need for her marriage just as you do. Most respectfully, it's harsh and easy to say advice and, going by your post, it'll be very hard, but necessary, to give her the space she needs to sort her head.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?