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My boss thinks I'm a 'disappointing hire' - what would you do!?

So I moved to New Zealand and bagged myself a bar job in a small little locals bar. It's great, I like the locals and the responsibility I've been given. Only problem is, my boss is disappointed in me. Not my ability to do the job. But me. My personality. It does not meet his expectations. I told him right from the beginning when he decided to hire me (which he did based on the fact I am a girl and already knew some of the locals and not on my previous experience) that I am not the bouncy, bubbly, loud, always up beat kind of bar staff I got the feeling he was looking for, but that I will get the job done and always be kind and friendly to customers. He hired me anyway. There was only two other staff members aside from him at the time. A manager and a bouncy, bubbly,loud, always up beat girl (who I loved working with but my boss thought was 'shit';). Anyway, they both left and I picked up a lot of hours since then and the time it took him to hire a new manager. I thought I was doing well and proving myself but then it happened. I was working solo and he was drinking at the bar and I am 99% sure I heard him telling his friend he thought it was going to be great hiring me, but then I turned out to be miserable behind the bar and that he was so disappointed. After that I just felt SO unmotivated to do my job to the best of my ability. His expectations don't match reality. I know my limitations and made them clear at the start but feel 'miserable' is a little inaccurate and actually quite harsh since I always make a conscious effort to smile, greet customers like old friends, ask them about there day etc. Etc. What should I do and how should I feel? Because I feel disheartened and I know I can't be what he wants, but he should have never of hired me in the first place if he felt so strongly. I think a good boss sees weakness and does there best to support the staff member in question to help them grow, learn and become better. Not berate them at the bar while they're working. It has the complete opposite effect. Part of me wants to leave because it's too intense feeling this way when I work so closely with him. But the other part thinks I should stay because he's offered to sponsor me. I could personally gain from this job but I feel uncomfortable and frankly, I don't think an open discussion about all this will help at all. When my boss doesn't like someone's personality that's it. There's no reasoning with him. I simply don't 'fit in' but he can't fire me for that. He'll just me waiting for me to leave on my own accord like he has already confessed to doing when previous staff members. What would you do in this situation!?

My boss thinks I'm a 'disappointing hire' - what would you do!?

He'll just be waiting for me to leave on my own accord like he has already confessed to doing with previous staff members*

My boss thinks I'm a 'disappointing hire' - what would you do!?

Hi Aeryn, I see this as a situation where you can make a decision, and kind of have the information and power to decide right now. What you've got going for you now is, you know (or have a really good idea that you know, at least) your boss doesn't think highly of you for whatever reason. (Was he maybe getting drunk when he said that?) You also know that, based off of how things went with previous workers, he usually won't fire people - he will wait for them to quit. But something else you know is that you do a pretty good job there, and have been with him the longest out of his remaining employees. On the one hand, you can leave and get away from the stress and the uncomfortable atmosphere your boss has created for you. You know he isn't going to just drop you, and there are probably other bars you could get hired at in the interim if you think it's time for a change. (Where did some of your previous co-workers go?) On the other hand, you could stay where you're at without fear of getting let go of. This guy might eventually build up a crew of "workers he likes", but it sounds like he has trouble keeping people, or at least that's the impression I get. You're good with customers and get things done. And I'm not entirely sure what you mean by sponsoring, but hey if that offer is on the table you could take advantage of that for now. All in all, I realize that the many aspects of a job are much more complicated than I'm making it out to be. There are probably other factors to consider - if you like your current co-workers, or if you would miss the locals at your bar too much... You'll have to weigh some pros and cons and figure out, ultimately, whether to move on or stick it out.

My boss thinks I'm a 'disappointing hire' - what would you do!?

You are more than correct when you state that a good boss will support their staff no matter who they are and how good they are at their job. A good boss will also deal with the different personalities of the people in their employ and get to know which 'buttons to push' so they can support, train and encourage their employees. If they have happy employees and have a happy workplace then the workplace thrives. Going by your post, your boss will always struggle at his business because of his attitude and his expectations. He shouldn't berate his people in front of customers, let alone drink at he bar, and this alone, should tell you that you're working for a guy lacking in basic people skills. Couple that with the fact that he won't sack people, he just creates an uncomfortable work environment for them so they eventually leave, is an example of a boss who really has no clue of business principles, and very little respect for others. You need to understand that most people will employ people who come up to their standards and if your standards are different from this guy's then you know what you need to do regardless if he has offered to sponsor you. It's a waste of time being unhappy and uncomfortable hoping that things will change when the very person who provides the work environment creates an unhappy one by their own ignorance and actions.

My boss thinks I'm a 'disappointing hire' - what would you do!?

Look for another job ASAP. Try to find a more mature place to work where competency and service is more important than entertaining customers. You really are too good for this job, you know (or dont you?) He spends a lot of valuable time demoralizing his employees. Dont give him your loyalty!

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