Those very rare cases when girls just want sex
Hello, everyone! :)
I am going to explain shortly my situation:
More than a year ago I met a man. He spent several months trying to convince me to go on a date with him. From the very beginning, I knew that he was not right for me but eventually I agreed to go out with him. I didn't like anything else related to him except his appearance. So, there was no a second date. He wrote me every day using social media and at some point in time, he started talking to me about sex. I enjoyed our chats for months when I had free time. He literally said to me a lot of times that he was a master in the bed and one day I decided to give him a chance to prove that. It was an amazing evening.. We continue to communicate in the same way. He left the ball in my hands, so I had to initiate our next meeting. When I invited him again after a month he accepted immediately and everything was great. I felt very nice with him and I just wanted something simple which included Amazing sex.
After his second visit in my home, we hadn't seen each other for several days. While chatting online he told me that I looked younger than I was. I answered him that he was not the only one who thought that I looked younger. Then he said something that annoyed me - "Well, I know. Every man likes a pretty girl who doesn't spend a lot of money". I blocked his online messages and didn't answer his calls almost two days. Then he called me from another number and asked me what the problem was. I answered him some very stupid things - I told him that I realized that the pleasure he had with me didn't cost to him any financial expenses (like presents, paying bills, going to the theatre etc. and I hope that he understood that I meant those things) as well as that I didn't care about that fact because it was only sex to me. We talked about 20 min and then I made my second mistake – I invited him to come in my home in the same evening. He said that if he could he would call me. I said not to do so and closed the phone. Almost immediately, he wrote me a text message saying that I hadn’t understood him correctly about what he had said - “Every man likes a pretty girl who doesn't spend a lot of money”. He said he meant our first date when he paid the bill and it was not a big one (is this a good thing according to you?) Then, my next mistake – I answered to his text message that I realized that every man wants to be at his place, and there was no need for him to inform me. I also stated that I would prefer to accept some of the sure invitations that I generally received from other men to the possibility of waiting for him to confirm if he was going to come or not (I thought, in fact, he had other plans for that evening).
Now, I haven’t heard from him for four days. I think that what he meant saying that I look younger was actually not my face but my behavior.
In some strange way, I care for him and I am scared that he has put the end of our “relationship”. I do miss him and want to fix what happened but I don’t want to put myself in an uncomfortable situation.
What is your general opinion about my story? How do you think he is probably feeling about me? How do you think he would react if I send him a text message like "I miss you"?
A lot of thanks to those of you who read my post and gave me from their time!
I would be very grateful if you express your opinions!
So I read your post, and even re-read it. And it's still slightly difficult to understand, but I THINK I see what you're getting a.
From your perspective, this guy seems kind of chauvinistic in some way. He automatically thinks you are sleeping with other guys, and thinks it is just about the sex for you.
It's hard to answer though, because I don't know what this guy is like as a person. And, it's easy for men and women to say one thing to the other that maybe doesn't sound rude or offensive to themselves, but then it offends the other and then suddenly a big fight occurs. At the same time, I would say it really depends on a lot of other factors, like how often this guy gives you red flags about things, and how the rest of your time with him has gone aside from this fight. For all we know, he could be devastated because you have stopped talking to him for long periods of time - and to us men, we automatically think you met some other guy. At the same time, he could be kind of a jerk. Who knows.
But there is one thing you're overlooking here, Kimberlyy. You seem really conflicted about exactly just what this arrangement is.
You said yourself that, initially, you "knew he was not right for you", you "only liked him for his looks". But then, you kept talking to this guy, daily, and "enjoyed your chats for months". You eventually gave in and let this guy come to your house, and show you what he could do in bed. Now you let something he said really offend you. Normally a woman that just sleeps with a guy for sex and sex alone probably isn't thaaat concerned about his character. Maybe to a point, but surely not enough to worry whether or not he is kind of a jerk. And now you "care for him", and "miss him".
See, it just seems like you aren't sure whether this was just a little bit of sex and "something simple", or if you really enjoyed this man for who he was and enjoyed him companionship as well as the sex. And it's possible that he is confused because he was also trying to figure out what it is.
My thinking is, if you like this guy and want to see where things go with him, then you should do that. Life is too short, and when you close doors in life...you don't always get the chance to open them back up. Forget that old saying, "If it's real, then set it free..." That is kind of a stupid saying, because life keeps going and people don't just stand still and wait for each other indefinitely. Fact of the matter is, you saw things you liked in this guy, and you took a chance on him. Maybe you should stop blocking him and just have an adult conversation with him about this conflict right now. See if he wants more, because maybe he does?
Best of luck.