Idk just relationship / life advice
I've been dating this girl for about three years now and we've had our fights here and there. But this argument keeps coming up about a particular person who I've asked her not to talk to,simply due to the fact before she fooled around with him before we got together. Well at first she listened and didn't talk to him or so I thought turns out she did and recently has been. So like I think it's not respectful to to talk to former interests while your with someone but every time I bring it up I get called jealous or I'm controlling and a shit storm happens.like am I that much of an asshole or what I don't talk to girls that interested in me at all. We just recently moved in together after being a long distance relationship,so am I fool for doing this or even putting up with or what??? IDK anymore
I don't really think it's right to control the people in your partner's life. But it's clear that boundaries come into play at some point.
So your girl and this guy fooled around once, before you were together. Is your girl the type of person that would cheat on you, or drop you for this other guy? If so, maybe you are with the wrong person.
Imagine if, years from now, you were still really good friends with your girlfriend, but stopped dating. And now your new girlfriend tells you that you can't talk to your current girlfriend anymore. This might be after you spent 5, 10 years of your life with her as a couple. Maybe you even have kids together now. It might be kind of hard, because you really cared for this person once, and you're still on good terms, you just don't want to be with her as a couple anymore. But now someone else wants you to just shove them out of your life completely. What if your ex has no other friends, just you? Do you just leave them all alone?
Now at the same time, your girlfriend is in the wrong for lying to you and talking to this guy behind your back. That raises some red flags.
I would say, give your girlfriend the respect to be friends with people in her life. But at the same time maybe be cautious about it, and keep a distant eye on it. After all, she lied to you once.
It's none of your business who your GF was with or what she did before you guys became an item. You basically have no right to ask her not to speak to an ex and yes the previous poster is correct, there's boundaries which come in to effect when you're 'with' someone...so you shouldn't have the need to ask. You need to determine why you don't want your GF talking to this guy and as you have been dating for 3 years and have just moved in together, you also need to determine is she shares your values and standards...and does she respect you and your relationship together.
It's no use being with someone who isn't loyal to you and someone who you can't trust for whatever reasons. When you have complete trust, you don't have to worry about who your partner speaks to because you instinctively know that they're with you 100%. If your partner is with you 100% there's no need to put conditions on your relationship and therefore there's no opportunity for them to lie to you or ignite a s***storm, as your call it, in the first place.
It just goes round and round in circles until you ask yourself if she's with you..completely.
You have moved in with each other. Thats a huge step that maybe you and she were not ready for.
You need exclusivity right now and she wont adhere to it. Theres two sides to all this, but it shows there is a blickage in your communication and commitment to each other.
Is this the only thing you argue about?
Your girlfriend should have the courtesy and respect for you to stop communicating with this person. And btw, it IS your business, so ignore the idiot who says it's not be/she obviously has no clue about relationships.
Okay, so I apologize to Jayson92, I don't mean to disrupt the topic at hand.
But Somelogic, two of us agree that you shouldn't be controlling of which friends your partner can talk to. And we are both registered users so... Yeah, we both also give regular advice to people on this website.
I never claimed to be some expert. Someone asked for help, I gave my honest opinion.
And you apparently still don't know what an opinion is, much less manners, if you barge in here and say my view is wrong and me (as well as Manalone) are idiots.
Ignore Somelogic, Jayson. Apparently he is what his name suggests - a person with ....just some logic.