Author: James Michaels
Published: Jun 27 2013
Going through a break up is a tough and emotional time, especially if you desperately want a second shot at the relationship, but are constantly getting rejected by your ex. After all, how can you repair your relationship, if they won't even give you the time of day?
There are many ways in which you can deal with your ex's rejection, but perhaps the best thing you can do, is just stop doing things that can be rejected in the first place.
I know that the above statement may not be exactly what you was expecting, perhaps it just sounds a bit too much like something Yoda would say to Luke, or it may even seem like it's not going to help you get them back at all.
What I really mean is, that people deal with rejection in different ways. Some people just can't deal with the emotions at all, while for others, it's not nearly as much of an issue. The real secret is to just do things that cannot be rejected in the first place.
Take the below example;
What do you do when yet another text, phone call or email gets ignored once again by your ex?
If you're anything like countless other folks out there, you'll probably just try harder and harder. After all, you're probably extremely determined to get a second chance at this relationship and absolutely nothing will stop you.
That’s a good thing, and a little bit of determination and focus will take you a long way. The key though, the big secret, is to just focus on the right things.
For example, if all you do is just keep on trying harder and harder doing the same thing over and over again, just to get a response from them, then you'll more than likely just get rejected more and more. Only difference is, as the days go by, the rejection gets a lot harder to deal with.
It's kind of like dropping a coin in a puddle of muddy water. The more you stir up the water looking for the coin the dirtier it gets, and the harder finding the coin becomes.
So how do you stop being rejected?
As I said before, in order to stop being rejected, just stop doing things that get rejected: I really can't stress this enough. Doing this is simply a matter of proper preparation during the early stages of relationship repair, and getting your ex in the right frame of mind to be open to some kind of communication: if they won't talk to you then how can you expect t get back together with them. As the saying goes "spend the first hour sharpening your axe"
This is actually a two part process, which is described below;
The first thing that you should do right at the beginning of the repair process, is to just accept the break up. This will put you in the best possible physiological position to avoid being rejected in the future, and give you the best chance of starting some kind of dialogue with your ex.
The next step is to let them know, that you have accepted the break up. The best way to do this is with a hand written letter, and no, a text message or email won't work just as well.
The whole point of a hand writhed letter is that physiologically for them, it has more meaning, because you have clearly taken the time to prepare it.
There are many ways you can format this letter, but the below outline has been proven time and time again by thousands of people in your situation.
Here’s what to say in your own get your ex back letter;
1) Tell them that you are OK with the break up.
2) Agree to the decision.
3) Briefly apologise if you did something wrong.
4) Tell them that something is going to happen and you would like to tell them sometime.
5) Tell them that you want to give them some space.
6) Let them know that you hope that someday you can be friends.
Note: You can watch a free video on creating your own letter here.
As I said before, the above letter outline has worked countless times for people desperately trying to repair their broken relationships. The most important thing that the letter will do for you, is set the stage for your next move.
Dealing with rejection is tough, so why go through the emotional torture in the first place. What you have learnt in this article will put you in a much better position, to work things out with your ex, as it will bring you so many more opportunities to sort things out.
That being said, the above is only a small part of the process, so make sure that you have a proper strategy in place, before you proceed any further.
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