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5 tips for telling your partner you have an std

Author: Toni Sims
Published: Feb 2 2014

Being discreet about your past sexual escapades to safeguard your partner’s feelings is OK, however, not telling your partner you have a sexual transmitted disease (STD) is NOT! Although living with an STD is hard enough, and confessing to your partner that you have an STD can be quite intimidating, your partner deserves to know the truth. While this is not an easy matter to come to terms with, finding the best way to tell a partner may help them be more understanding- regardless of their reaction.

One of the first things you should do is advise all sexual partners- past, present, and future. Why? Not being upfront and direct with your partners puts their health at risk. You may fear rumors or rejection, but being candid with your partner will eliminate future humiliation and turmoil.

Here are 5 tips to help you let the cat out of the bag:

Rehearse what to say

Before you spill the beans, practice what you want to say with a close friend or family member. Having an extra set of ears may help you decide the approach you would like to take on the subject matter. Also, going over your "script" a couple of times will make you more comfortable sharing your story.

Don’t tell your partner on the first date

Unless the date is leading to sex, never reveal your STD status on the first date; let your partner get to know you first. If you’re concerned that your STD status might run them off, then you’ll want to confess after a few dates. This gives your partner an opportunity to make a conscious decision on whether or not they would like to continue dating you.

Never reveal your STD status in bed

The worst time to tell a partner that you have a sexual transmitted disease (STD) is when you’re naked in bed together. It’s also a bad idea to allow the conversation to happen halfway through a passionate kiss or embrace after a romantic dinner. Such acts will not only be a buzz-kill, but it can also lead to a furious reaction from your partner. Do not reveal your STD status in a romantic or intimate setting- bottom line! You do not want your intended sexual partner to feel manipulated or tricked.

The perfect timing

It’s not easy to broach the topic about your health secret, so timing is everything. Gather information about your STD in case your partner has questions. Your demeanor will determine how your confession is received, so approach the subject when you’re calm. Also, do it in a quiet and private setting so you and your partner can give full attention to the conversation.

Don’t take it personally

Rejection can be painful, but it’s important not to take it personally. Your intended sexual partner is not a horrible person just because they are not willing to accept your health condition. People make decisions based on what’s healthy for them, so don’t be hard on yourself if they choose to no longer date you.

Bio: Toni Sims is a senior web content writer with an online STD testing service. At its core, is a technology company that has broken the barriers of traditional healthcare. The firm is helping unite the intersection of healthcare and ecommerce, and by doing so, has been able to deliver higher quality of care to health consumers, as well as contributing to the new age of healthcare.

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