I have no clue what to do

Depressed, most days. Mom of two young ones. I find waking early helps. I do that most days. I married a good man. He and I are distant lately, which oddly enough, I think we are both ok with. Problem is, I'm not ok with myself. I'm trying to be motivated to go out. Lose weight. Enjoy myself while we are distant. Possibly coming back from the distance, improved. I just feel so awkward even now making contact sometimes. He works long hours and I stay at home. When we finally have time to ourselves, thats just what we want, time to ourselves. Not together. If I try to make it a time for us, it's awful and awkward. I know once his job levels out and he has more time things will get better, but I want things better for me. Not my marriage. For me. The better I am, the better my kids are. I just don't know how to start. I mean , I do. I know, just do my own thing. But how do I do my own thing? No clue.

How old are your children? If they are old enough to go to school by themselves and you only have to pick them up,perhaps you could join some groups to meet new people. Do you have any hobbies? The strain of your husbands job may be unsettling things a bit,until it gets into a routine. Or maybe joining a support group for married mums which may be able to give you some suggestions or you can draw from.other peoples experiences.

My kids aren't in school yet. I'm dealing with a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Any activity for myself is an activity I have to include them in. I'm just so tired...