OCD, depression and anxiety

Afternoon. Does anybody else here have OCD,depression and anxiety? I have a lot of negative thoughts and can't seem to switch them off. I.e,If someone has a go at me,the fact I was bullied at school,the fact that I am thick,the fact that I lost a friend because I had a go at them for putting on me,that I find it hard to say no. All these things,the thoughts I have,I get anxious and stressed by it. My relationship with food is weird,coping to a certain extent and then I get anxious over it when something happens or I get an ailment. I have to eat though.I don't want to be teased for being skinny again. Eating properly is a must for me,even when I have phases of no appetite. I can't go on holiday or out for the day because I can't eat around a lot of people in close proximity. I think people are staring. I get worried that the car will breakdown and I'll miss my food. I like to be near home,that way I am in control. I have to have a cooked meal during the day to help ease my anxiety and that way I know I have cooked food inside me. I shop via my phone. Going to the supermarket causes my anxiety to go sky high and I get irritable. I left work due to the OCD,Depression and anxiety,was comparing myself to a woman that started nearly 7 years after me,3 months later i had a really bad depressive bout and couldn't go into work. 5 months later i left for good. I clean the house for my mum and dad,have mates and hobbies,but I feel I am a disappointment to them. The mates I have now don't use me. I've been on an assertive course and have said no to a few things,felt weird. I get scared that I'll freeze,forget the techniques and will shout at a mate. I feel abnormal.

Hi hun i have been through exactly what you are going through and believe me it hard everyday but you will get ther in the end have you been to your doctors xx

Thanks for the reply. Many times. I changed surgery. I am a bit overweight. My b.m.I is 27. I had one dopey doctor suggest the 5/2 diet to me. I don't want to lose weight. I did in 2013 and my b.m.i was 24,down from 30. It messed with my head. I went into a deep depression,didn't shower and hardly went out of the house for 3 months. My "Safe weight" is 11st. I was 12st 2lb. I went down to 10st and felt uncomfortable. I was 11st 7lb last September,now 11st. One doctor said that it was healthier for your bones to be a bit heavier. I'm frightened that when i lose my appetite,i'll lose weight and i don't want to. I eat healthy because i don't want sugar diabetes like a relative of mine. I don't want to become 20st,but i don't want to be skinny either,like when i was at school. I got teased for it and as a result would eat more,sometimes i would be sick. Ever since then i've had a weird relationship with food. How do you cope?